Politico
by emisonfeelz
Summary: Oppositional views, families at odds, drastically different backstories, and tormented souls... Will Emily and Alison's story flourish or crumble under the forces of their circumstances?
1. Chapter 1

Alison's POV

"Yes Mrs. Tillman. You too. You have a wonderful rest of your day. Tell Jimmy Happy Birthday for me" I request as my overworked hands grasp a rickety, old broom and dust pan.

Sighing loudly, I quickly sweep up the mess on the floor and plop myself in the stylist chair, groaning and feeling even more frustrated with every passing second.

Why do I have to do this? I'm just now feeling like I can look at myself in the mirror. I'm just now getting on my feet again and building a consistent, loyal clientele.

I've poured so much of myself into Essence, a little hair salon on Bourbonelle Drive. I designed, constructed, operate, and manage my salon all on my own. I take pride in my work and the friendships that I have developed since I opened the salon. I hate that I may have to give it up for good. I've called this small town in Georgia my home since I was little. This is where every bright light and every dark day in my life has played out. How can a small town girl like me pick up her life and move to the big city?Don't get me wrong, I've been through enough change in my short life so I'm more than capable of adjusting to a new environment or circumstance. That being said, I simply being selfish and don't want to have one more change in my life.

My father, Kenneth Dilaurentis, has been my anchor through the rough waters of my youth so now I guess it's time to return the favor. About a year ago, my mother and father moved from this small town to the Big Apple in pursuit of an eventual run for the open Senate seat in New York. For 15 years, my father has been this town's fire chief and has worked tirelessly for the benefit of the citizens of our town. Through the partnership of other fire chiefs in neighboring towns, a greater network of support and involvement among citizens has developed. Poll anyone in the grocery store and they will tell you, "Chief Dilaurentis has changed this community".

Almost instantaneously, my father was elected the new fire chief of New York in a landslide victory. Now he has his eyes set on the senator position available in the next election. Ever since I can remember, my dad has always been a good ole country boy, born and raised with a pleasant temperament, proper morals and values, and a desire to do right by another person. Family has always come first and no matter what happens, no matter the mistake, he loves you unconditionally.

Sadly, I was the problem child for my parents. My brother on the other hand is a living, breathing angel. He skirts through life, never having to try or want for anything. Life has simply dropped everything in his lap. Trials and tribulations are not something that he understands because he's never had to walk through fire like I have all of my life.

As I empty the register and stuff the wad of cash in my purse, I pause at the doorway and admire the world I've created for myself in this once dilapidated salon. I'm going to miss the smell of freshly washed hair, the sound of blow dryers, the potent smell of hair dye, and the endless stories that stem from voices that sit in the plump stylist chair. When I look around, I see all of the special times that I've been apart of. From weddings, first day of school new cuts, bad break ups, to 50th wedding anniversaries, I've seen it all. I've transformed them all because people have blessed me with the opportunity to be a member of their life.

Flipping around the open and closed sign as I exit the doorway for what feels like the final time, I fail to suppress the persistent tears that make their presence known as they trail down my cheeks. Why is saying goodbye always so difficult for me?

Tomorrow I will catch my flight to the big city in order to attend a community gathering in the Bronx that is hosted by the fire department and the local police that patrol the streets on a daily basis.

"Improve relations, encourage a sense of family" my father drones on each time he calls to remind me of the event. "I want all of my family by my side. We have to lead by example" he continues to preach. Although I want to gripe about all of these upcoming demands, I can't seem to bring myself to do it. He seems so excited and genuinely passionate about changing circumstances for the better.

"Alright Alison," my brain tells myself, "You need to suck it up. Your parents have walked through hell with you so you need to be there for them now that they've come calling. It's honestly the least you could do. Think positively. Don't play a victim to your circumstance. Who knows...unchartered adventures could await you. This could change your life for the better. You could meet people that could change your life for the better. Open your mind Alison. Maybe even open your heart while you're at it".


	2. Chapter 2

Emily's POV

Wine. The poison of choice. It's versatile and caters to the mood of the moment. Sometimes, as I sit alone in my penthouse apartment overlooking the city skyline, I ponder if I have a problem. I drink like this almost every night. I swirl this magical juice around and around and I drink myself numb. I escape, I run, I don't look back for fear the monsters will catch up with me and suffocate me again. I drink so I don't drown. I drink so I don't have to think about what I've done. I drink so I don't feel.

Mindlessly placing my hand against the expansive glass window that frames a picturesque view of the city, a subtle clink draws my attention toward it's source.

Oh yes... the emerald ring Jacob gave me for my birthday. Jacob Pride, the tall, tanned, well groomed man in my life is also the son of the real estate mogul of New York, William Pride. Jacob follows in his father's footsteps. The only exception is that Jacob has political aspirations for his future. Jason is bold, powerful, bombastic, charming, unapologetic, handsome beyond measure, and knows exactly what to say and do not matter the circumstance. Having been together for going on a year and a half now, I know Jacob is going to want to move in together soon. But as I look around my place, I can't imagine separating myself from it. This is my soft place to fall at the end of the day. This is where I drink myself into oblivion and continually hide this dirty habit night after night.

Coming from a family of immense power as well, I understand there are certain ways of life that the average person would never even consider to be a reality. Matters of the heart aren't always of importance in the world I live in. Climbing that seemingly endless and insurmountable ladder of status, privilege, power, and influence trump all else. Strategy and alliances govern most interactions.

I lack authenticity and autonomy in my life. I don't live my life for myself. Emily Fields is a daughter, an heir to a fortune, and a piece of the puzzle in the Fields carefully crafted image in America's societal elite. My father, Wayne Fields, is a famous MIT graduate and founder of an aerospace technology company that works with NASA on their mission to Mars. The Harvard law graduate and current Republican Governor of this city, my mother, Pamela Fields, is currently eyeing the upcoming seat in Senate.

As the dutiful daughter that I am, of course I'll be expected to halt everything at the drop of a hat in order to help her "unofficial official" campaign. God forbid we don't constantly keep up with portraying a image for the world around us.

"The Fields family has no problems. The Fields family has no secrets. The Fields family is perfect" I chant aloud bitterly, sarcastically, and dramatically to myself as I drunkenly fumble my way to the kitchen to retrieve my ringing phone.

"Ugh Tim! What do you want? I told you not to call me at night unless it's life or death" I angrily growl at him.

"Chill out Emily. Wait, are you drunk" he asks sounding angry.

"No. You just woke me up" I reply convincingly.

"Oh...well this is can't wait until the morning" he continues.

"Well then what is it?! Spit it out already" I yell at him.

A long pause fills the phone call before he finally breaks the silence. "Walter Steinfeld, the lead investment banker for City Group, just called. There's a dead prostitute in his hotel room...".

"What?! Oh you've gotta be kidding me" I groan in response.

"Alright. I'll be there as soon as I can. Text me the hotel and the room number. Tell him don't do anything stupid. We will fix this. We will make this go away" I reply emphasizing my instructions before I hang up the phone.

Yet again, I have to fix the actions of another sleazy man making a choice that could alter his life and the lives of those around him. It doesn't matter if you're a celebrity, businessman, or politician, I will fix your bad behavior. I will make your problem go away. You'll never have to suffer the consequences of your actions. I know that this profession may not seem like the most moral way of earning a living, but it suits me at the end of the day. It provides me with benefits and countless favors that I can call upon at any time. My parents certainly love the network of connections that I have developed through this line of work. There's no doubt in my mind that when my mother officially announces her run for the open seat in office, she will gladly call upon me, my favors, and my extensive network of connections in order to help her win the election.

Undoubtedly, my team and I will be hired to help run her campaign from the background and mostly away from the limelight. Tim will run computer logistics, Rebecca will run investigative work, and I will be the face of operations and report directly to my mother. There will be no free time to handle other cases. Scumbags will have to find another fixer to conceal their bad behavior.

Until that phone call comes from my mother, I will continue to function as the most sought-after fixer of the elite class. I will continue to walk through life in a state of nothingness. I will continue to show the world that I am the educated, beautiful, powerful, ruthless, happy Emily Fields.

Alison's POV

Landing at JFK airport felt like walking into a mad house. The sheer magnitude of people in the terminals was overwhelming and anxiety provoking. As I exit the airport and wait for my ride in the pick up spots out front, I slowly feel the air enter my lungs once more, freeing me from the stress of the crowds.

My father is sending his assistant, Hanna Marin, to pick me up and immediately escort me to the gathering in the Bronx. I'll be so relieved to see a familiar face in a vast sea of unfamiliarity. Hanna and I have been friends since grade school. Well, if I am being honest, she was basically my only friend. After high school, she immediately moved to New York City with a scholarship to NYU. Ever since we were kids, Hanna always talked about her dreams of a life in the big city and a life far, far away from our small town. "This world is too grand for me to miss out on " she'd always preach.

As time passes by and I sit patiently on this rusty, used gum infested bench, I start to wonder if her ditzy self forgot to pick me up. I casually draw my eyes to the watch on my wrist... 11:30... she was supposed to be here at 11.

"Hot damn girl look at you! You sexy little thing" I hear suddenly preceding a stereotypical cat call whistle. Darting my eyes towards its source, a huge smile appears on my face.

"You don't look so bad yourself. Can I get yo number" I ask in my best impression of a fuckboy as I gather my things and approach the stylish blonde casually leaning against a black Mercedes.

"But for real though Ali, you look so good. It's so great to see your smiling face again. You have no idea how much I've missed you" Hanna says genuinely as I drop my things at my feet to smother her with a long overdue hug.

"Thanks love. It's always great to see you too. I've missed your sense of humor and your quirky ways" I chuckle as I place my things in the trunk.

"But enough of that now. We'll have time to catch up later. We're late, and you know how much my dad values rules and punctuality" I continue as I mimic a solider standing at attention.

Opening up the car door and sliding into the driver's seat, Hanna laughs and replies, "Girl you have no idea. I've been working for that man for almost a year now and he still rides my ass about that kind of thing. Sometimes I'm just like, yes you're a great guy with big dreams, but can you loosen up a bit buddy?".

"Yup. That's dad for you. Mr. morals, values, and ethics" I add while adjusting my seatbelt.

Pulling up to a broken down, tough looking neighborhood, I immediately know that this is the exactly the kind of place my dad would hold an event like this. Stepping out of the car, I see nothing but a ton of cops and firefighters all around as well as a boatload of citizens. I have to admit, the atmosphere is electric. There's music playing, people laughing, eating, and kids happily playing in the street. Everywhere I look, the local residents appear to be having genuine, natural conversations with the police and firefighters in attendance. The kids especially love the extra attention and players for pickup games of basketball and football.

"Hey babies how can I help you" a pleasant looking woman asks from behind a welcoming table.

"Hello ma'am. We are actually here to see my father, Chief Dilaurentis. We'd like to join in on the gathering as well if you don't mind having us" I ask politely.

"I must say by your manners and your sweet demeanor, you most definitely are that man's daughter" she smiles.

"Come on ladies. Join in. I'm sure people would love to meet you" she says as she gestures us towards the festivities.

As Hanna and I walk side by side through the crowd, something in my periphery catches my eye.

"Hanna, wait here" I order as I walk towards a little girl sitting alone on the sidewalk reading a book in the midst of this gathering.

"May I join you" I ask the little girl that's no more than 10 years old.

Emerald green eyes peer over the top of the book as she looks at me questioningly.

"Sure" is all she says before returning her focus to the book.

Sitting at a comfortable distance away from her, I peer over to see what she's reading.

"I'm Ali, what's your name" I ask reaching out my hand while trying to strike up a conversation.

"Lilly" she replies simply while shaking my hand. "Nice to meet you".

Wow she's well mannered for such a little peanut.

"Pleasure's all mine. So Lilly, may I ask why you aren't playing with all of the other kids your age? Doesn't that look like fun" I ask pointing to the other children.

Lilly pauses for awhile and finally replies with a long sigh, "I'm new to the neighborhood. I have a hard time making friends".

My heart ached seeing her so sad and lonely like this. It's mainly why I came over to talk to her. The sight was all too familiar for me to simply ignore.

"Well I'm new to New York as well. I just moved from a small town in Georgia. I understand how you feel. It's scary putting yourself out there when you don't know if people will like you or not. But you'll never know until you try" I reply watching her every move.

Sighing again, she simply nods her head in response.

Not wanting to push the subject further, I ask, "What are you reading" gesturing towards the book in her hand.

"One of the Little House on the Prairie books" she says smiling to herself.

"Oh that series was one of my favorites when I was about your age" I reply returning her smile. "In fact, that's where I got my nickname..."

"Half-pint" a strong male voice interjects finishing my sentence for me.

Looking up, I see my father standing close by in his uniform while smiling down at the both of us.

"No way" Lilly replies sounding surprised. "That's your nickname" she asks.

Crouching down to our eye level now, my dad replies, "It sure is. You see Half-pint here was obsessed with those books. We used to read them together at night and eventually I just started calling her that".

"It suited her nicely" he continues smiling lovingly at me.

"So listen nugget. My buddies over there are going to announce in a few minutes that they're going to give everyone a tour of the fire trucks. How'd you like to be the first one to spray the big water hose" he asks tickling Lilly's stomach.

Giggling excitedly, she stands up and wraps her arms around his neck, embracing him in a thankful hug.

"You see that man right over there? You make sure you tell him that Chief Dilaurentis said you'd be the first to spray the big hose" he says pointing to a tall, buff man standing my the fire truck.

"I'll make sure no one takes your book Lilly" I ensure while patting the top of her head. "Go have fun" I continue encouragingly.

As she scurries away from view, I turn to face my dad.

"Hi daddy" I say while hugging him tightly.

"Oh I'm so happy to have my sweet girl here with me. I see you've made a friend already" he says pointing towards Lilly.

"I couldn't help it. She was all by herself just reading a book. I couldn't help but see myself in her. I just had to talk to her" I reply while gazing at Lilly getting ready to use the fire hose.

"I hate to interrupt" a voice from behind us interjects.

Spinning around to face the gentle voice, I'm pleasantly surprised by the adorable, elderly man standing before me.

"I just wanted to say that I witnessed the entire exchange with Lilly and your daughter. Then I witnessed your interaction with her Chief. It was truly a beautiful, genuine sight to witness. Sir, I don't know if you're aware of the talk on the streets, but the people want you to run for the open seat in the Senate. People want you to represent our best interests. The people believe that you actually care about us. After witnessing what I just saw and after seeing the impact of this event you organized, I'm inclined to believe so too" the old man says smiling brightly at my father.

Extending his hand towards the elderly man, my father replies, "Well kind sir, I deeply appreciate support from the community. I can't do my job without the help of y'all".

After the man left, I turn to my dad and ask, "Does that pretty much confirm your desire to run?".

Smirking down at me, my dad pulls me close for another hug and kisses me on the top of my head. "Yes it does my dear. Yes it does. By the way, can your mom and I expect you for dinner tonight?"

"Of course daddy. I've missed y'all and I can't wait to have mama's home cookin' again" I reply eagerly.

If I'm being honest with myself in this moment, I'm really proud of my dad. I'm also feeling optimistic about being in New York until the election is over. I'm sure I'm going to be hounded by the media, asked tough questions, will end up campaigning tirelessly, and be asked to do uncomfortable things. But maybe, just maybe, it will all be worth it if I can see my dad happily living out a dream. I can put my needs and wants aside for a little while during the pursuit for the open seat.

Emily's POV

"Babe, are you about ready to go" Jacob asks from the other side of the bathroom door.

I've been completely ready for ten minutes now. I've just been starring at myself in the mirror, analyzing the reflection looking back at me.

Upon first glance, a woman draped in diamonds wearing a classic, elegant, black ball gown gazes back at me. Further inspection reveals a figure shrouded in darkness. With eyes empty and soulless and a heart hard as stone, this figure hides underneath a polished exterior. Every breath it takes, every move it makes, it continually perpetuates a facade with ease and grace while slowly whittling away to nothingness on the inside.

"Em? Everything alright" Jacob asks ultimately returning me to my senses.

"Yes I'm alright. Just finishing the last touch" I reply cheerfully before opening the door to a stunned and awestruck Jacob.

"E...Em... you look absolutely incredible" he beams as he soaks in the sight before him.

Taking my hand gently and raising it above my head, spinning me around slowly for a 360° view, Jacob finally stops me once our eyes meet again.

Guiding my hand to rest on the top of his shoulder, he pulls me closer at the waist and whispers, "How did I get lucky enough to land a girl like you?".

"It's as simple as that... luck" I retort as I pull away from him and begin to turn in the other direction.

Jacob reaches for my wrist with just the right amount of force, pulls me back, and chuckles, "Not so fast... Gimme some sugar" before leaning in and kissing my plum colored lips. It's moments like these where I find glimmers of enjoyment. I sometimes find myself feeling almost a sense of happiness when Jacob acts enamored and completely nuts about me.

"Mmm Mr. Pride" I reply partially pulling away from his embrace, "I do believe we're going to be late if we keep this up".

Playfully kissing my neck now, Jacob husks, "I can live with that if it means I can undress you and have my way with you".

"Well could you live with the hellish fire my mother would undoubtedly rain upon you if we ditched her big night" I reply while fully breaking myself from his embrace.

Sighing with frustration, he replies, "You're right babe".

"I always am" I wink as I pick up my clutch and head for the front door. "Oh and might I add" I say as I turn around to face him, "I own you in that bed. If anyone has their way here... it's me".

As bold as it sounds, it's true. I wear the pants in this relationship...sexually and in every other way that counts. Anything less than complete control is unacceptable.

It's a never-ending chess match against myself if you really think about it. It's an artful craft of giving and taking. Allowing him to believe this relationship is going anywhere and that it actually means anything to me is all par for the course. I get what I need from Jacob and never give more than I am willing to part with. Which isn't much even though it appears like I am invested in us. If I want sex, I can get it from him at any time and any place. Jacob believes that he's the big man on campus, the top dog, the ultimate alpha male. Sadly, he's too stupid to see that he is a resource, a distraction, and a socially acceptable source for sex.

No matter what, when all is said and done, no one will ever have me. Emily Fields is unobtainable. Leaving room in my heart for love is unrealistic. It'd be a weakness and would lead to my ultimate demise. Power and influence is all that I truly need.

The moment the limo comes to a halt and Jacob exits the car to open the door for me, I take this moment to breathe and mentally prepare myself for a long night ahead. As soon as Jacob opens the door, flashing lights from the paparazzi's cameras blind my vision. Arm in arm, we smile and wave to cameras before we make our way inside the event.

The atmosphere inside the gala is mainly uneventful. All around, men and women dressed in their best black-tie attire are sipping champagne, chatting, and working the room. In the heart of the crowd stands my mother, shaking hands and charming her way through the endless line of the mighty elite trying to speak with her. Suddenly, all eyes turn towards us at the top of the grand staircase overlooking the crowd below.

Even over the orchestra playing soaring music, my mother's voice can be heard above all else.

"Ahh look everyone! My beautiful daughter has arrived" she yells excitedly with outstretched arms.

Descending the stairs together, Jacob and I meet my mother at the foot of the staircase as the crowd parts to make room for my mother.

"My darling" she continues dramatically as she embraces me in a tight hug.

"Hello mother, I'm so happy to see you" I reply smiling as all eyes gaze upon us.

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't show" she whispers angrily in my ear in a virtually inaudible tone.

Pulling away, I reply, "The venue is absolutely lovely. I'm sure a lot of money will be raised here tonight" I reply while dramatically placing my hand over my heart and faking a face of concern.

"Well I sure hope so" Pamela replies loudly. "The foundation's work depends on it" she adds.

"I'm sure Jacob will make a run for something at the auction later" I say while looking to Jacob for reassurance.

"Why of course ma'am. I think I may already have my eye on one of the rumored items" Jacob replies with his signature beaming smile.

"That is music to my ears darling" my mother replies while patting his shoulder. "Now you two run along, mix, mingle, and have some fun".

Before parting ways, my mother subtly grabs my arm and whispers, "Make Mama proud tonight" while throwing me an all too familiar look.

"Don't I always mother dearest" I reply coldly.

Like a dutiful little puppy, I forge on to my next task at hand. Seventy-five percent of this room is filled with men and women that have been my client in the past for one reason or another. That look my mother gave me was the order to use this fact to my advantage. Knowing her like I know her, she wants me to force them to make big donations tonight. It will also be my job to tastefully remind each and every one of them that she may be calling for their support in one way or another some time very soon. To put it simply, it's my job to remind them that I own them for saving them from their sins and it will be time to repay me in the near future. And by me I mean my mother by default as she makes her run for the Senate seat.

As we make our way through the crowd, I spot my first target. Ronald Westen is a hedge fund manager that was almost completely bankrupted a few years back due to his unhealthy gambling habits.

"Baby can you go get us some drinks from the bar" I ask Jacob so I can rid him from my side.

Now free to begin the real work for tonight, I make my way over to Ronald who is standing in a circle with a few other men simply laughing and talking.

"Hello gentlemen. Pardon me for interrupting. I just wanted to stop by and say hello again to Mr. Westen" I say smiling widely while rubbing his back.

"How long has it been since I last saw you? What like 4 years" I ask innocently as I stare at Ronald's panicked expression.

Pulling him close for a hug, I whisper quietly, "Don't disappoint me tonight" before I pull away and add, "Let's keep in touch more. It's been far too long" before I politely excuse myself from the group.

Stop after stop, I carefully remind many of my former clients of their debt to me. Undetectable to the average person that is completely unaware of our relationship, I appear to be catching up and making small talk. They remain completely oblivious to the reality of the situation.

When the time comes for the auction and I reunite with Jacob for the rest of the evening, I pause to reflect on the little reminders I gave tonight. While these men and women are quite wealthy and powerful, they are far from the top dogs of the overall group of former clients. I can't cash in on the big league players yet. I must save those debts for future needs or quick fixes. Based on my estimates, we should be able to raise more money than last year's event.

Bursting through the front door of my apartment, I hungrily pull on the tie around Jacob's neck as I forcefully kiss him and push him towards my bedroom.

Pushing him to sit on the edge of my bed, I quickly undress myself down to my matching bra and underwear set before I climb on top of him and straddle his waist.

Leaning down, I begin trailing kisses from his lips, along his chiseled jawline, and down towards his neck while saying, "So you dropped a lot of cash for that extensive trip to Italy".

"It was pretty hot how you duked it out with that one guy and ultimately won the trip package" I add now sucking on the sweet spot on his neck.

In between his moans and quickened breathing, Jacob replies, "I thought you'd love it".

Stopping my trail of kisses, I sit up and smirk down at him. Lowering myself further down his body, I begin unbuckling his belt and reply in a sexy tone of voice, "Let me show you just how much I love it".

Alison's POV

My father announced his run as a Democrat for the New York Senate seat two weeks ago after Hanna and I ran a survey of the average New Yorker's likelihood to vote for Chief Dilaurentis if he ran for the position. After a few weeks of extensive research, the data showed an overwhelming approval of his worth ethics, perception as a man, a family man, and whether or not they believed he would carry their interests to the big stage in Washington. The look on his face when I brought him the final report made my heart fill with joy and excitement. Energized by the survey's findings and from random people approaching him on the streets, he held a press conference and announced the official launch of his campaign. The crowd appeared to be excited in response to his announcement and immediately offered up their support.

Thankfully, two weeks into the official start of the campaign, no one appears to be willing to challenge my father for the Democratic nomination. This makes it much easier to steer the focus on the presumed Republican nominee. Needing technical support and strategy team member as a leader of this division of the campaign staff, Chief hired Hanna's boyfriend, Caleb Rivers, to run point. I fully support this hire due to Caleb's impressive skills in hacking and programming, his social media awareness, and his overall savvy mental gamesmanship. Plus, he's Hanna's boyfriend and has simultaneously become a friend of mine now that I am creating a new life in New York.

"So from everything that I can see on social media and from emails in the governor's office, Pamela Fields will be announcing her run for the open seat today" Caleb tells me as he busily types and clicks away on his computer.

"Well we were prepared for that right" I ask feeling unsure all of the sudden.

"Yes we were. But we weren't prepared for the twist that they are about to throw at us" Caleb replies now pausing and turning his attention towards me.

"Caleb, what the heck does that mean? You're freaking me out" Hanna replies nervously.

"Yea me too! Why are you all the sudden looking at me like what you're about to say involves me" I ask feeling the anxiety rise in my chest.

"It's because it does" Caleb continues. "Pamela Fields is going to suggest a televised and live streamed mini debate on Friday between you and her daughter as a preview for what will be discussed when the main debates are held later on".

"So kind of like when the Vice Presidential nominees have a debate... it's another opportunity to portray a campaign's message" Hanna replies as if almost thinking aloud to herself.

"Exactly. And if my gut is right, I bet they think they'll be able to make you look like a fool" Caleb adds while shaking his head with frustration.

"Well let's not let that happen" I reply with resolve while secretly dying inside from pure anxiety and panic. "Let's show them that they're not better than anyone else and that my dad is the best candidate for the job".

Hanna and Caleb turn their attention towards me with a look of pleasant surprise.

"Alrighty then. Then let's get to work. I'll prepare an entire work up on the Fields family, especially their daughter Emily" Caleb replies while resuming his ferocious typing. "We only have two days to prepare. Do you think you can handle it?".

"Thank you Caleb. Yes of course I can handle it. If anything, this attempted surprise only fuels me to kick her ass in the debate. I'll do a little research on my own too. Who knows what I may turn up that could help me during the debate" I reply while reaching for my laptop.

Emily's POV

As I look out into the sea of media reporters and their cameras laser focused on myself, my father, and especially my mother excitedly making her big announcement, I can't help but zone out while maintaining my classic smile and look of interest. What will the upcoming months bring me? How much hard work is this campaign going to require? What am I going to do if Jacob wants to move in together? A zillion thoughts swarm my mind until the sight of my mother turning around to face me brings me back to the present.

"Emily is looking forward to the opportunity to face off against Ms. Dilaurentis. Right Emily" my mother asks gesturing me to the podium.

Stepping forward, I lean slightly into the microphone and reply with a toothy smile, "Absolutely. I look forward to proving that my mother is the best candidate for the job".

It's now the night before the event. Jacob is off on a business trip with his father so I have the night to myself without stupid interruptions.

"Hello my most loyal friend" I say aloud as I pour myself a hefty glass of wine and head for the living room.

"We meet again" I add before taking a long, slow sip.

Vibration in my pocket interrupts my moment of comfort. "Ugh Tim yes I will look over the notes for tomorrow. I'll be prepped. How hard can it be? It'll be like shooting fish in a hillbilly barrel" I reply bitterly as I read Tim's text.

Tossing my phone across the room, I whisper fondly, "Now. Where were we" as I take another long sip, throwing head back as the magical juice of the God's warms my throat.

Loud banging on my front door startles me from my drunken slumber as I begrudgingly adjust to the brightness that has enveloped my apartment.

"Shit. What time is it" I ask myself as I frantically search for my phone.

"Damnit! 11 am. The debate starts at noon" I continue.

"Emily open the damn door" Tim yells angrily from the other side of the door.

Opening it quickly, I swing the door open and walk away, leaving him dumbfounded in the doorway.

"Are you kidding me? You're not even dressed" he states as I feel his eyes glaring at the back of my head.

As I step into my bedroom to throw a classy look together in record time, I hear him yell from the living room, "Emily, why the hell would you drink two bottles of wine all by yourself the night before an important event?"

I remain silent as I brush my teeth and hunt for an appropriate outfit in my closet.

Now in my room, Tim continues, "Did you fucking hear me? Answer me damnit! Did you even prepare for this" he asks throwing his hands in the air in frustration.

"Listen" I suddenly yell at the top of my lungs, "My private life is none of your business! I am your boss. You do not speak to me like this. I do not report to you or owe you an explanation for what I choose to do behind closed doors".

Silence befalls the room as Tim glares at me. Finally speaking, he scoffs at me, "You... you are a piece of work. You are such a bitch. I actually pity you".

"Pity me all you want. I may be a bitch but I'm a bitch that gets things done. And I pay you handsomely for your help. So don't complain. Now leave me alone. I'll be downstairs in 10. We have enough time. I will win this debate. I will bury this hick and show the world just how futile their efforts really are" I say confidently.

Alison's POV

"There. All done. Testing, testing. Okay Alison, you're good to go. We'll be starting in about ten minutes" an older woman says to me as she finishes placing a microphone on my baby blue blazer and wrapping the cord around my waist towards the battery placed on the small of my back.

Hanna approaches me with a comforting smile and asks, "Are you ready to kick some ass?".

"Hell yes. I've done my research and I'm ready to take on the infamous Emily Fields" I reply confidently.

"Aww that's cute. You actually think that you can win this. How... naive" a menacing voice interjects.

Hanna's face immediately turns red with anger as her eyes narrow at the source of the voice.

Spinning around to face the source, I'm immediately taken aback by how close she is to me. Undoubtedly as an intimation factor due to her taller stature, the infamous Emily Fields stands tall and confident before me, folding her arms across her torso, and smirking at me devilishly.

"Learn one thing very quickly... right here... right now..." she says stepping even closer to me while pointing her finger at me.

"You can't beat, outsmart, or take Emily Fields. Emily Fields takes you" she finishes before walking away from me triumphantly.

I stood my ground during this entire encounter, not wanting to show any weakness. Truthfully, she didn't scare me or intimidate me in the slightest. I was more shocked by what I observed during this mini showdown. Was she honestly that heated and hell bent on trying to freak me out that she blew her cover and exposed a secret?

Underneath the perfume and lavender lotion, you could barely detect it. Only through close face-to-face contact was I able to confirm my suspicions.

"Wow Ali. You didn't even back down or show any signs of being afraid of her" Hanna says suddenly.

"Hmm... interesting" I reply still gazing upon where she once stood.

"Earth to Alison" Hanna jokes while tapping my arm.

"That's because I'm not afraid of her Hanna. She's actually quite easy to read" I reply while walking towards the spot where I'm supposed to stand before I take the stage.

"Easy to read" I hear Hanna reply sounding flabbergasted. "She's such a bitch it's unbelievable. She thinks she's all that and doesn't appear to give a damn about anyone else but herself".

"That very well may be true Han. But let's just focus on winning this debate" I reply trying to calm her down.

"Welcome Ms. Dilaurentis. Welcome Ms. Fields. Thank you both for agreeing to this debate today. I'm going to start off with some pretty easy questions for you all then we'll get down to the nitty gritty topics on policies and practices" Roger Wills, a local news anchor says to us from the other side of the circular table.

"I don't know about what you're comfortable with" I reply looking over towards Emily's direction, "But I'm ready to get down to business. No need for easy questions".

Emily stares back at me and then towards Roger and replies with a warm smile, "I couldn't agree more".

"Well alright then ladies. Let's get down to business" Roger says while flipping through his papers. "First off, Ms. Fields, can you tell us the impact you will be making on your mother's campaign and how you'd impact her thought processes if she were to be elected?"

Taking a deep breath and relaxing her posture, Emily replies, "Well of course I'll be helping her in any way that she asks during the campaign process. Now speaking in terms of the exact extent, I can't say for sure at this moment. Down the line, if she wants to run ideas or thoughts by me, I'd welcome it. However, no one tells my mother what to do and at the end of the day, she will go with what she believes is right".

"Now Ms. Dilaurentis, what would your response be to the same question" Roger asks turning his focus towards me.

Looking right into the camera, I reply sincerely, "Well I've already become a member of my father's team in our grass roots efforts. I will continue to be there for him in whatever capacity he needs. As far as if my father would be consulting me if he won the open seat, I can pretty much guarantee that he would. You see, my father is a family man. He's humble and he's not foolish enough to think that he has all the answers to every problem in life. He knows that he needs the input of others from every point of view in order to make the right decision. My father also knows at the end of the day that family is where you ground yourself. Your family keeps you in line and helps you stay the path. There's nothing wrong with consulting with trusted allies when trying to effectively bring the concerns of your average New Yorker to the big stage in Washington".

After about 45 minutes of continued questions and discussion, the moderator asked us summarize why our parents would be the best candidate for the job.

"Well," Emily replies looking deep in thought, "My mother already holds a powerful and influential position in office. She has experience with politics and knows the ins and outs of what all of that entails. She has connections, determination, and an understanding of what needs to be done for the state of New York".

I can't even believe the words coming out of her mouth right now. She's making it seem like they understand your average Joe and give a damn about creating change when in reality all they want is more power.

"Oh that's just rich" I interject laughing at Emily's response.

"Is something funny" Emily asks while starring at me coldly.

"Yes. Yes in fact there is something funny" I reply still chuckling to myself.

"Can't you see the huge difference?" I ask now starring at the camera.

"Enlighten me" Emily replies coldly after sitting up in her chair and folding her hands on the desk.

"We come from dramatically different backstories. You come from extreme wealth and power. You swim in the exclusive sea that belongs to the elite of this country. You have your law degree from Dartmouth and a Public Relations Masters from Georgetown. What average American can afford that? How can you and your family honestly say that you understand the plight of your everyday American or New Yorker? You have no idea what it's like to pinch pennies, live paycheck to paycheck, and wonder of your life will amount to anything. In case you haven't noticed, most people don't live in penthouse apartments or mansions. Most people work multiple jobs just to get by and support their family in the tiniest of living conditions".

"Oh and a little country mouse like you that only runs a small hair salon can understand the magnitude and complexity of governing a body of people?" Emily asks while trying her best to conceal her anger.

"Yes I do actually" I reply as I realize that I've got her flustered. "I was fortunate enough to not grow up hungry or without a roof over my head. But my father was the fire chief in our town and worked tirelessly to better the lives of everyone in our community. He constantly kept me grounded and appreciative of what was provided for me. I grew up seeing how some people struggled to get by and how through the incredible efforts of my father, his fellow fire fighters, and leaders from surrounding communities, their lives changed for the better. That kind of effort and true heart is what this country needs. New Yorker's need a representative that doesn't mind cutting the yard of an 83-year-old woman after a long day at work. These people need a man that will walk in the shoes of those that struggle and offer any support that he can offer. Yes, I may run a small hair salon, but I'm far from some uneducated, naive, country mouse that you're implying. I have my masters from Vanderbilt University. I am a licensed mental health counselor and I understand people. Everyone knows that your hair stylist is like your therapist. You have no idea the kind of joys and sorrows that I've heard from my chair as I try my best to make every client feel heard. I don't stand in front of others with a sense of superiority. I don't turn up my nose to the less fortunate because they have nothing to offer me. And that right there comes from the guidance and the up ringing of two incredible parents. And that right there is why my father is unequivocally the best candidate for the job".

"Well thank you very much ladies for taking your time to do this. I can only hope that future debates between your parents will be as passionate as this has been" Roger Wills says in conclusion before the cameras shut off.

Standing up gracefully and thanking Roger, Emily spins and turns to exit the stage. I quickly thank Roger and follow Emily offstage. Once out of sight and away from watchful eyes, I forcefully grab Emily's wrist and quickly turn her around to face me.

The familiar look of complete fury explodes in her eyes when she realizes it's me.

"What do you want country bumpkin?" Emily asks trying to remove her arm from my death grip.

"You thought you could make me look like a fool today didn't you? You were so confident and so sure that you were better than me. But guess what, you were sadly mistaken. You obviously didn't do your homework on me or my father" I reply without emotion in my voice.

Taking a step closer to her now, I whisper, "Maybe it has something to do with your binge drinking last night".

I can see she's fighting back the urge to slap me so I decide to throw another curveball at her.

"Underneath all of that beauty, all of that money, and all of that influence...a broken woman exists in misery. You seem to have to world fooled with this flawless exterior and a well-crafted facade that you fight so desperately to uphold. But guess what Emily Fields... You don't fool me. I see you Emily. I can see right through you".

A look of complete surprise flashes in her eyes at an almost undetectable level if only it weren't for my trained eyes and expertise in observation. I've clearly struck a nerve.

Emily's POV

You don't fool me. I see you Emily. I can see right through you.

These words ring in my ears time and time again. I replay that moment over and over in my mind... feeling the exact same feeling each time I think about it.

For the first time in a long time, I messed up. I'm not foolish enough to lie to myself and say that I didn't mess up that debate. I wasn't prepared and I got cocky.

There's one thing for sure, that girl is far more complex than what meets the eye. She possesses depth unlike most people I have come across in recent years. She answered every question honestly and chose her words very carefully in order to make the most impact. She outplayed me. She made me and my family look out of touch and clueless to the needs of your everyday American. That truthful exposure will prove to be detrimental to my mother's campaign down the line. This will take a lot of work to recover from and I can already hear my mother's disapproving voice in my ear telling me how much I've messed things up for her campaign.

The simple thought of this inevitable discussion fuels me to finish out my late night boxing rounds with my trainer Eliza.

"Damn Fields. Great workout. Have safe travels back home" Eliza says while wiping the sweat off of her face.

"Yea, 10 mile run ahead for me" I reply finishing off my water bottle.

"You're a beast. You ran 10 miles here, you've boxed for 2 hours, and now you're running 10 miles back home? Damn. Maybe you should be the one training me. Again, be safe" she replies with a sweet smile.

My mind is so preoccupied with my endless thoughts, I barely muster a thank you.

As soon as I left my apartment after the debate, I was hell bent on clearing my mind. Normally I would have turned to my usual alcohol induced numbing session but look what that got me the last time. No this time, I'm going to work myself ragged. I'm going to run till I puke and then run some more. I don't know what will stop me after that. Death maybe. It's not exactly like we're strangers.

So I run. I run. I run.

I run until the people in my periphery become nothing but a blur and the view of the setting sun before me is all that I see. I run until the ache in my lungs and the ache in my legs becomes a sensation not one of pain but one of something else entirely.

I can feel it beginning. That first flicker of release. Starting in my chest, it spreads outward until it reaches the outer crevices of my body as my feet rhythmically pound against the pavement, controlled breaths pass through my lips, and my eyes transfix upon the darkening skyline.

That's it...I've found it...That sweet release. I am completely numb and there's nothing in the world that could shake me from this moment of ecstasy.

In a split second, my world abruptly turns upside down as a horrific pain explodes along the left side of my body. Next thing I know, my body slams against the pavement and my eyes begin to feel heavier and heavier until everything goes black.

Soft hands caressing my face slowly coax me awake as my eyes flutter open for me to adjust to consciousness with an instantaneous roaring headache.

"Wh... what the hell happened" I ask still groggy as I try and sit up.

"No. Lie back. I don't want you to hurt yourself" a subdued female voice persuades as she carefully places my head back onto the street.

"You really scared me there for a minute Emily" the voice adds.

Turning my head towards the source, I'm immediately taken back by the origin of this voice.

"Oh God! In a city full of millions of people, it had to be you didn't it" I groan aloud.

"Thank you Alison for dropping your delicious Chinese food on the floor to rush over here and make sure I was okay" Alison replies in a snarky tone of voice.

"Oh you're quite welcome Emily. Seeing as I'm not a monster and was genuinely concerned for your wellbeing after seeing you get hit by a car and proceed to fly over the roof of it" she continues with a sweet tone of voice as she continues to smirk down at me.

"Whatever" I reply as I sit up holding my left side. Wincing in pain, I quickly realize that I've broken some ribs. "I deserve this anyways" I mumble to myself.

"What? How can you even say that" Alison asks with a confused look on her face.

"It's nothing" I reply as I stumble to my feet and begin to walk towards the direction of my apartment.

"Where do you think you're going" Alison asks stepping in front of me and blocking my movements.

"I'm fine. Please leave me alone" I respond as I try and move away from her.

"The ambulance is on the way" she replies. "You can't leave. All of these people saw it happen. They even saw the driver continue driving" she adds sounding angry.

"All the more reason for me to leave. I don't need this in the press. I'll be fine. I promise" I say pushing my way past her.

"You've clearly broken your ribs and God only knows what happened to your head" Alison says from behind me.

"I have a doctor I can see off the books. He'll take care of me" I reply as I turn around to face her. "Just please. Stop causing a scene. Don't make this bigger than it needs to be" I add almost begging her. "Honestly, thank you for dropping your delicious Chinese food and running over to check on me" I continue genuinely.

"Well clearly I can't convince you to stay but I'm going on record saying that you're out of your damn mind" Alison replies throwing her hands in the air in frustration and turning in the opposite direction.

Thinking she's out of earshot, she continues, "I don't even know why I bother. Alison, when are you ever going to learn?"

Watching her walk away like that makes my chest momentarily sting in response to the sight of it. However, that feeling quickly subsides as the pain of being hit by a car overwhelms my body once more.

Emily's POV

"Yes... for the last time... I didn't see the car. It hit me, drove off, and when I woke up, she was there. Yes, I left the scene. Yes I called Dr. Frederick off the books and yes I have a concussion and 4 broken ribs" I drone on as I feel my tolerance level for nagging quickly reach it's maximum.

"Remind me again why you're here, waking me up at 8 am after all of these years. I didn't call for any help" I add defensively.

"Well that's because we were hired and ordered to come do damage control after your crappy debate performance" my smart ass friend retorts as she glares over me as I try and hide myself under my covers.

"Spencer, what the hell are you talking about? Who hired you" I ask half annoyed and half curious.

"Did you seriously just ask that question? I know you're not that dumb" another voice interjects from my closet.

"Aria, what the hell are you doing in my closet? And no I'm not dumb. I'm tired and I kind of want to be alone right now " I reply completely hidden under the covers.

"Well bitch, too bad" Spencer yells as she rips the covers off of me and flings them to the edge of the bed, causing a cold rush to tickle my skin. "Your mother ordered us to get you ready and have you in her office by 10. So chop chop" Spencer continues as she claps her hands loudly. "Don't wanna disappoint mommy again".

Alison's POV

"Half pint" my dad exclaims excitedly as I enter the large, wooden doors to his office. "Come on in! Happy to see my little girl" he continues as he stands up from his desk with open arms, waiting for me to join him in an embrace.

"Hi daddy" I smile warmly after taking a moment to enjoy his infamous bear hugs. "What did you want to talk about" I inquire.

"I'll be on my way" Hanna says while heading for the door.

"No Hanna, stay. I want to hear what you have to say as well" he replies gesturing for the both of us to take a seat in the empty leather chairs in front of his desk. Sighing deeply, he continues, "I wanted to talk about your debate performance".

"Girl you kicked her ass" Hanna declares passionately while extending her hand for a high five.

Reciprocating her gesture, I giggle and reply, "Thanks Han. I don't really know what got into me. It all just kind of came from the heart and with ease. Dad, I wanted to make it crystal clear how you were right for the job".

"And that you did my dear. Your words were too kind and your performance is all anyone is talking about" my father states simply while relaxing deeper into his plush, leather, chair.

"He's right," Hanna interjects. "It's all over social media. People are calling you a badass. People think you made them look awful and called them out on their bull. You really boosted his approval points and the polls are showing an early lead" Hanna adds while handing me her tablet for me to view a compilation of comments from various social media outlets.

"The Fields political camp is now on the defense" he furthers. "And I intend to build upon the tone you've set. Grass roots efforts" he carries on while jokingly pounding his fist in the air.

After discussing the next steps in the campaign for about another hour, Hanna and I finally leave my father's office and head out for lunch to Lanura's, a whole in the wall sandwich shop about three blocks from his station.

"Ali, I still can't believe how you didn't back down and you buried that bitch" Hanna says suddenly after taking the first bite of her sandwich.

"Again, thank you. But to be honest, I don't think she's a bitch" I reply looking down at my sub, suddenly submersing myself in deep thought.

Hanna raises her eyebrows and slaps her hand against my forehead. "Do you have a fever or are you just crazy" Hanna asks jokingly. "She's so full of herself, she insulted you, and waltzed around like she was better than you".

"I know on the outside it looks like that" I reply removing her hand from my forehead. "But on the inside, I think there is more. You have to just know what you are looking for" I continue.

"Oh Ali, don't go down this road again... Not everyone can be saved. It's not your job to try and be someone's savior either. She's a bitch... to the core... and she's only going to hurt you if you try and get close to her" Hanna warns in a serious tone.

My thoughts begin to wander to the memory of our interactions as her words begin to sink into the cervices of my mind. The one thing I keep going back to... the thing I can't get out of my mind... the thing that leaves a haunting feeling in my chest is all that I see as I look out the window.

Her eyes... Emily's deep, swirling, brown eyes. Her eyes are so telling. I see so much pain in them. Those eyes tell a story and I can't help but want to know what goes on behind those orbs of truth.

But Hanna is right. What if I am just being foolish? What if I am just falling into my old patterns again? She could hurt me. She could spot my weaknesses and use them against me. Then she'd ultimately be hurting my father... his campaign... his dream. I can't let that happen. No matter how badly I want to peak behind the wall Emily has built up around her.

Emily's POV

"You can do this. Just rip the bandaid off" Spencer coaxes as she gently nudges me to open the cold, metal door to my mother's office.

"We'll go get drinks after this" Aria whispers trying to lighten the mood as we enter the office and quietly shut the door behind us.

"Sit down" a cold voice orders from behind the tall, leather, swivel chair faced away from the door and towards the window overlooking the New York skyline.

Gulping reluctantly, I sit down without a word and wait for the tongue-lashing I'm about the receive.

Sighing loudly, she spins around in her chair and stares at me without saying a single word. This right here is the thing I hate the most. The silent treatment. That look of complete disappointment and disapproval. The look she gets in her eyes when she has so much to say but doesn't know where to begin.

The voices inside me are screaming for me to yell, "Just get it over with already! Yell at me, shame me, whatever! Just do it!"

But my mind knows better. My mind knows that I'm far better off just taking the punishing force of her anger head on and simply getting it over with. I can feel my body tensing up with anxiety as the seconds of quiet turn into minutes of deafening silence.

"What do you have to say for yourself" my mother asks plainly.

"I know that I messed up. I'll fix this. I'll make it up to you" I promise still unable to look her in the eyes.

"You're damn right you did. You're damn right you will" she replies raising the tone of her voice.

"She burned you. She made you look weak. She made me look like crap quite frankly. It's going to take a lot of work to fix what you've done. You've caused this campaign quite a lot of trouble and made us look out of touch. Do you understand how challenging it will be to change the people's minds about that" she asks furiously. "Look me in the eyes like a real woman when I'm talking to you" she spits.

I hate looking my mother in the eyes nowadays. Years ago, they used to be so warm and loving. Now I don't even recognize the hazel eyes glaring at me. It's like the light went out... the candle flame extinguished... and all the joy sucked out of them in the blink of an eye. I miss the mother I once knew. I know that woman is never coming back because too much has happened. I can't necessarily blame her for that either.

"Yes I understand and I will work my ass off to change that. I will do whatever you want me to do" I reply trying to keep my composure.

"That's what I like to hear. So in order to help with our image, I've hired Spencer and Aria to help us get back on the offensive side... Not stumbling backwards in defense" she replies gesturing towards my old friends.

"They are the best at what they do and so you will be a willing participant to whatever I declare and whatever they suggest. Got it" my mother asks frigidly.

"Crystal clear" I reply moving my gaze to meet theirs.

"For now, Aria will work on making your style more colloquial, relatable, and reflective of your average American girl your age. Spencer will work on making you seem more approachable. Basically they're going to try and make you more like Alison. She has the it factor. People can see themselves in her and if we have any chance of winning this, we are going to have to make you something that you are not... a likeable person" Pam states now turning her attention to her computer.

"Now be gone with you" she waves towards the door, practically banishing all of us from her presence.

I'm barely able to keep my composure as I stand up quietly and head for the door, leaving Aria and Spencer to hustle in order to keep up with me. I can't let her see me cry. I can't let Aria and Spencer see me cry. No one sees Emily Fields cry.

Bursting through the lobby entrance and onto the bustling city street, I stop and turn towards Spencer and Aria. "Let's go have that drink" I say to the both of them... Maybe more like 6 or 7 later on I think to myself.

It's time to feel numb again. It's the only solution. I need to feel that relief.

Alison's POV

I know my parents would be worried sick about me if they knew that I was running in Central Park at midnight. Normally I'd be opposed to it as well, but for some reason this full moon has the tides of my body uneasy and in desperate search for peace. I can feel the pull of the moon coaxing me outside to feel the gentle glow of the eerily lit skies.

For a few years now, I've tried to be especially mindful of my diet and how much exercise I incorporate into my week. That being said, I have my many vices and I don't deprive myself. "Everything in moderation" as they say.

I usually try and mix up what I use as a source of exercise whether it be running, spinning, yoga, rock climbing, boxing, you name it. I'm game. Tonight though requires my return to the most effective way to clear my mind and ease my troubles. If you think about it, running is a lot like working your way through life's many challenges. When you first start out, your lungs feel tight and uncomfortable. You experience an initial period of struggling to adjust to the increased demand yet you know you have to keep pushing forward. Relief will find you once you adjust. Until then, you do what you can till you can get there... listen to music, think about something else, focus on controlling your breathing, whatever works for you. Once your body begins to relax and compensate, you begin to feel like you've won the battle. You've persevered and you can bask in the fruit of your hard labor.

Thankfully, by the time I reach Central Park, I've already reached the enjoyable stage of running. My body is no longer fighting me and I'm beginning to focus on the even greater task at hand... quieting my persistent thoughts. As I look around, I see that there are only a few people in the park. A homeless man, an elderly man walking his equally elderly Chihuahua, a business woman walking home from a long day at work, and two lovers holding hands, aimlessly strolling through the park capture my attention as I pass them. The deeper I run into Central Park, the more desolate and remote it begins to feel. The boisterous symphony of crickets, my methodical breathing, and my feet rhythmically pounding the pavement are the only sounds to fill my ears.

Making my way through the tree covered pathway, I make a turn for the famous, arching bridge where I plan to stop and enjoy the peace and quiet for a little while. Halting my pace at the foot of the bridge, I interlock my hands and rest them of the top of my head, taking in as much oxygen as possible as I slowly try to normalize my breathing. In and out... in and out... I think to myself as I begin to walk towards the center of the bridge, all the while closing my eyes and taking in the smell of dewy grass and the sound of trickling water.

Suddenly, the sound of sniffling captures my attention due to it's out of place nature. Opening my eyes, I realize there's a person sitting on the floor with their legs scrunched up to their chest and their back resting against the bridge wall as they let out soft cries into the hands covering their face. I quietly approach this person who still seems completely unaware of my presence. Now steps away from them, I realize a couple of things. Before me is a younger woman and she's clearly been drinking judging by the scent of whiskey that my nose detected. Crouching down to her eye level while maintaining a comfortable distance, I ask quietly, "Ma'am, are you okay? What can I do for you? You seem upset".

Still covering her face, she croaks pitifully, "I'm fine. Please leave me alone".

Not convinced by her attempt to make me go away, I slowly reach for her hands covering her face. Thankfully she doesn't flinch at the contact and allows me to lower her hands as she continues to cry with her eyes purposely glued shut as a final attempt to keep me away.

Even in the near pitch-black darkness that envelops us, I instantaneously recognize this woman. My heart fell in my chest the moment my mind began to process the image before me.

"I'm surprised you haven't recognized this southern accent that I know you secretly love" I say suddenly as I comfortingly trace small circles on her delicate, velvety soft hands.

In a split second, she stops crying and forces her eyes open to confirm the thought in her head. "Are you stalking me? Why are you always everywhere I go" she asks drunkenly as she slowly and defensively withdrawals her hands from mine.

"Emily, I was simply running in the park and saw someone in distress...So here I am. I had no idea it was you" I reply now sitting on the ground. "What the hell are you doing alone and drunk in this empty park? It's not safe for you to be this vulnerable. You know how dangerous the world can be" I add while rolling up my headphones and placing them in my pocket.

"I could say the same thing to you. You're by yourself too" she replies plainly.

"Correct, but I'm completely sober and I'm running. At least I have the ability to escape danger. You're a walking bullseye" I reply pointing at her and the puddle of misery she's wallowing in.

Rolling her eyes at me as she struggles to stand up, Emily attempts to walk away from me without a word.

Jumping up and catching her just in time before she stumbled to the ground, I continue, "Listen, let me take you home. You're in no condition to get home by yourself and I'd feel awful if I let you go and someone took advantage of you".

Turning her body to face me she replies, "How do I know that someone isn't you?".

"What are you even saying? That's a ridiculous question" I reply as I wrap her arm around my shoulder and slink my arm around her waist, guiding us to head for the main road.

"I've seen the way you look at me" Emily mumbles under her breath.

"What did you say" I ask trying to clarify if I heard her correctly.

"Nothing" she groans angrily.

Silence creates a space between us while I continue to stabilize her as she drunkenly stumbles along. When we finally end up on the city streets, I hail a cab for us.

"Get in. I'll drop you off at your place" I order as I place her in the car. To my surprise, she doesn't fight me or spit a snarky comment at me. Slipping into the seat next to her, I ask her for the address to her apartment. To my surprise again, after a few seconds of silence, I realize that Emily is passed out with her head against the taxi's window. My attempt to coax her awake fails so I'm left with no other option but to give the driver the address to my apartment.

"Oh Emily" I whisper to myself as I shake my head at the sight of her drunkenly passed out in this taxi.

Thankfully Karen, the middle aged woman that lives across from me was walking her dog when we pulled up to my apartment. When she saw how much I was struggling to drag Emily out of the car and carry her inside, she immediately offered a helping hand. Fumbling through the door, we make our way to my bedroom and gently tuck Emily in my bed.

Quietly closing my bedroom door behind me I whisper, "Thank you for helping me. I don't think I could have gotten her up here by myself".

"Oh honey you're welcome. I hope she can just sleep this off and not be too sick in the morning. Or embarrassed for that matter" Karen replies with a small smile as she picks up her dog and heads for the front door.

Pausing at the doorway, she turns around and adds, "By the way Alison, I think it's great that you're showing her such kindness even though she was so rude to you. When you look at her, you can't help but feel awful for her. She looks so damaged. She needs a friend Alison".

Even after Karen left, I couldn't help but feel like she was right. Emily does appear to be utterly broken almost to the point where she can't keep it together anymore. As I quietly open the door to my room, I see Emily is still sound asleep in the same spot I left her. Creeping to my dresser, I quietly begin to pull out my pajamas and begin to strip my skin of my smelly running clothes.

"Emily is passed out, you can strip right here. She won't see you" I think to myself as I begin to gather my things for a quick shower. The warmth of the water and the delicate coating of soap suds transfixes my focus as I wash away the day and begin to pray for sleep to welcome me in it's arms. I pray that my long run will inspire my body to cease it's internal struggle even though once again, the enigma that is Emily Fields is infesting my waking thoughts.

Stopping myself at the side of my bed, a thought enters my mind. Should I be sleeping on the couch to give her some privacy? Should I sleep in here just in case she wakes up and freaks out because she doesn't know where she is? Crap, what if she wakes up, sees that it's me and jumps to conclusions or starts that smart mouth again?

Ultimately, I decide to sleep in my own bed with a pillow between us so she doesn't get any crazy ideas. I need my bed. I'm feeling tired now and I'd selfishly not like to wreck my neck and back by sleeping on the couch.

"Emily? Are you still asleep" I ask softly yet loud enough for her to hear if she is in fact awake. Passing seconds of silence and nothing but the humming sound of the air conditioning spurs me to continue even though the risk of her secretly being awake to hear what I'm about to say raises a red flag in my mind.

Nonetheless, I continue boldly, "I just don't even know what to say to you. Much less do with you. I've never met anyone like you and it's causing me to question everything I do around you. One minute I'm afraid of what you'd do to me if I tried to get close to you. Would you unearth my weaknesses and try to exploit them for the benefit of your mother's campaign or for your own sick pleasure? I don't know if I could handle that kind of betrayal. But when I look at you, and keep running into you like this, I can't help but want to be your friend. When I look at the weak spot in your defenses, I see the truth. I know I'm not imagining the pain and loneliness I see in your eyes. You're going through something and you need someone to depend on. Even if you can't admit it to yourself, I think deep down you know in your heart of hearts that you're breaking into a million little pieces. I don't think you can maintain this facade up for much longer. You need a friend and whether that person is me, I don't know. I can't answer that. But I think I'd like to try... If only I knew with absolute certainty that you wouldn't hurt me. Because if I'm being honest, the truth is, I need a friend too. I've always needed a friend. I need that one constant in my life that completely understands me. I need a friend that will love me and support me unconditionally. I need someone that will be able to accept my problematic and challenging past... Someone I can feel comfortable around enough to be my true, unfiltered self. Now is that person you? I don't know. The real question is are you open to the idea of being my friend with no malicious or duplicitous intentions?"

Emily's POV

"I'm sorry" I whisper as I turn around to look at Alison sleeping peacefully under the covers. "I truly am".

On cue, the slight click of the front door closing behind me signals a release of emotions. I don't even bother to conceal my tears as I hail a cab to my apartment. The feeling inside of me right now is suffocating. My lungs feel like they're filling up with lies, shame, guilt, insecurities, and complete and utter misery... choking out all of the viable space for air.

The realization that I'm quickly turning into my mother makes my insides quiver and writhe in fear. I'm becoming cold, insensitive, and unlovable. I'm doing this to myself and I can't seem to stop the inevitable train zooming out of control for the edge of a cliff. I can feel myself reaching the point of no return. Again. I'm taunting the devil and I can sense the devil will strike a fatal blow at any moment, sealing my fate to a life of all consuming darkness and anguish.

I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't face her. Not after how she found me last night and how I behaved. I don't know why I continually push her away so harshly when all she ever does to me is show me kindness. I see the way she looks at me. She genuinely cares. She wants to offer her assistance in any way possible. There's goodness in her deep blue eyes. Alison has a heart that knows no bounds and is pumping pure compassion and thoughtfulness through every fiber of her being. At first, I wanted to hate her for it, but now I'm slowly finding my self drawn to her comforting ways and the idea of having someone like her in my corner. I hate to admit it, but she's growing on me. That's why I can't face her right now. I know that I will have to eventually but not right now. I feel too ashamed and afraid of opening up to her and letting her see the real Emily Fields. If I take off this artfully crafted mask and reveal the beast underneath it all, then she'd surely run away and leave me exposed and vulnerable.

But those things she said to me last night when she thought I was asleep... I can't stop thinking about them. It sounds like she's just as scared as I am. She fears letting me in and having it end badly. I can't exactly blame her. I haven't exactly been the kindest person on the planet.

I'll have to make it up to her somehow when I can find the proper words to effectively articulate exactly what I'm thinking and feeling. In the meantime though, I need to think about my answer to her question.

Alison's POV

"No... no please Dear God tell me this isn't true. Please! I beg you!" I wail in a fit of tears before my eyes open and I'm no longer in that horrific moment in my life. My hand finds it's way to my chest, feeling the heavy rise and fall of my chest and the hastened beat of my heart. "It's okay Ali. It was just a dream" I think to myself as I begin to close my eyes and try to relax again. Then it hits me. Emily.

Flying up in a sitting position in bed, my eyes find the space where they last saw Emily. Only this time, the once filled space is now bare. A handwritten note rests where the troubled soul slept last night. Gingerly taking the note in my hands, I call out for Emily to make sure she in fact left. It takes me a moment to bring myself to read this note. I can't quite identify the reason for why I'm feeling so... off... in this moment. Nevertheless, my eyes finally gaze upon the elegant cursive handwriting on a simple piece of computer paper that says,

Alison,  
I don't even know where to begin. I can't find words right now. I'm sorry that I left without telling you. I just couldn't face you... my behavior...everything. So I took the easy way out and I left. Call it shame. Call it guilt. Call it pride. But I do know that I want to say thank you for finding me last night, taking care of me, and ensuring my safety even though I don't deserve it. You're a far better person than I'll ever be. I'll see you soon. Maybe then I'll find a better way to say thank you. Maybe then I'll be less of a coward.

~Emily

Wow. Just wow. She seriously left without saying anything to my face. Jesus I don't know why I continually try and be nice to her when she only spits it back in my face. I could have left her there. I didn't have to open my home to her. I didn't have to do anything. But I did and I have to own those choices. I just don't know why I continually behave like this even when I know the inevitable outcome. I'm infuriated right now. She has no right to act like this. She doesn't get to be a coward. All I've ever done is offer up my friendship and assistance. She can't just walk away and expect a note will make it all better. She's damn right that she'll see me soon. The annual first responders ball is tonight. I know she'll be there. And I'm going to have nothing to do with her when we inevitably run into one another. I'm not going to put up with her crap anymore. I'm done.

"What's wrong sweetheart? You look... well pissed if I'm being honest. You look far to beautiful to be looking like a sour puss. Why don't you have some fun with Hanna. Let loose a bit. Maybe find yourself a nice fella to chat and dance with. You know I've seen at least 15 men looking at you in the last 10 minutes. You must understand that this poses as conflict for me. A part of me wants to punch every single one of them for lusting after you like they are and the other half wants you to find a significant other that can make you happy" my dad says while rubbing my shoulders encouragingly.

"Oh daddy don't be silly. They are not" I joke playfully slapping his arm.

"I believe I'm going to need Hanna to schedule you an eye appointment tomorrow because you're surely going blind my dear" my dad chuckles in response.

"Now please, go have fun. And show me that big beautiful smile of yours" he continues. "I'll come find you when it's time to pose for pictures" he yells as I make my way through the crowd to find Hanna.

"Great... that's when I'll surely run into Emily" I groan to myself, visibly rolling my eyes at the thought.

For the rest of the evening, I danced with Hanna and talked to a few very attractive gentlemen that approached me at the bar every time I went to grab another drink. Truthfully, I was actually having a great time for the first time in awhile and I could feel an authentic smile paint my face throughout the entire night. I was in the process of talking to a handsome, southern police officer named Peter when I reluctantly felt a sudden tap on my shoulder.

"Hello Alison" my father interjects with his classic booming smile.

"Excuse me sir. I need to steal my daughter away from you for a little bit. Duty calls" he jokes while shaking Peter's hand politely.

Walking arm in arm, my dad says once out of earshot from Peter, "Well he was a handsome fella. And I do believe that I detected a fine southern accent. Ali you do know how much I'd love a southern gentleman for you. Tell me you gave him your number".

"Dad for love of God you are not my wingman. And I'm absolutely not going to discuss my love life with you" I joke as I laugh at his loving intrusiveness.

"I'll take that as a yes" he smirks down at me.

"Let's just take this picture" I groan as we approach the crowd of people posing in the grand steps to the venue. The Chief of Police and his family are here. My dad, myself, and my mother pose ourselves in the spot where the professional photographer directed us to stand. Lastly, Governor Fields, her husband, and Emily stand in their designated spot on the stairs. And of course, the photographer places Emily right next to me.

God is surely trying my patience right now. I'm sure of it. He must be having a grand ole laugh at my expense. Standing next to Emily and focusing my attention to the professional photographer busily working to capture the perfect picture, I can practically feel the anxiety radiating off of Emily's body. I'm not going to lie, I'm enjoying the fact that she's so uncomfortable right now. I know she wants to say something but once again can't find the words. I don't even have to look at her to know that she's looking at me... desperately trying to read my body language and facial expressions.

After about 10 minutes of posing and smiling as ladylike as possible, taking group shots, and individual family shots, the photographer signals that he believes he has all that he needs. Throughout all of this, I haven't even looked at Emily or made an effort to talk to her. All I can think about is keeping this buzz... well let's be real here... a functional and socially acceptable level of drunk going.

The moment my mother and father give me the signal to continue about my business, I make my way back to the bar and ask the bartender for a bottle of champagne.

"It's for the Chief" I insist to the bartender giving me a heavy look of doubt as he begrudgingly hands me a giant bottle of champagne.

"Bless you fine gentleman" I wink as I eagerly take it and prance off to the nearest elevator.

"Rooftop please" I say politely to the elevator operator.

The moment the elevator doors open, a burst of cool night air tickles me skin, causing every hair on my body to stand at attention. Stepping out into the starry night with my new, bubbly best friend, Dom Perignon, I gracefully make my way to the edge of the rooftop. Basking the glory and majesty of the Manhattan skyline, I take my first swig of this ridiculously expensive bottle of champagne.

"Oh baby that's the good stuff" I say aloud as I delight in the taste and sensation exploding in my mouth.

Look at this view. How could anyone not be happy or be in complete awe in the presence of this view. The sound of the buzzing city below, the few remaining lights left on in buildings all around, and the twinkling stars above fill the space around me heart with tranquility. I can actually breathe up here. Don't get me wrong, I was having a great time inside, but this. This hits the spot.

"It's enchanting isn't it" a familiar, soft voice asks behind me, startling me, and causing me to spit out the liquid magic once encased in my mouth.

Alison's POV

"What do you want" I ask coldly without turning around to face her.

"I... uh... I wanted to see if you were alright" she replies plainly.

"Well as you can see, I'm alive and well" I reply maintaining the frigid tone in my voice.

"Why are you drunk and drinking alone on a rooftop? That's not safe. Something bad could happen to you" Emily continues without taking a step closer to me.

I stand tall in my place, one hand resting on the ledge while the other brings the bottle of champagne to my lips once more. I refuse to turn around and look at her.

"Are you stalking me or something" I mock.

Silence suddenly becomes the other figure on this rooftop; loudly making it's presence known.

"I deserve that" she replies. "I know you don't want to talk to me. You won't even look at me. And I get that. I deserve that. So I'm just going to start talking and you can decide whether or not you're going to listen to what I have to say".

With my back still firmly directed away from her and fortifying my defenses, I remain motionless as I wait for her to begin.

"There are so many things that I need to say... that I want to say if I'm being completely honest. But for tonight I think I'm just going to say this. You have been nothing but kind to me and I've been nothing but a cowardly bitch to you. I apologize for my behavior and my actions. I appreciate your extensions of support and for opening your home to me last night. You went above and beyond for me and well... I can't thank you enough for that. You see Alison, I'm cold, I'm unlovable, and it's all by my own volition. I've become this way due to the awful things that have happened to me and due to the countless awful things that I have done in my lifetime. I feel a sense of emptiness and darkness inside... right to the core of my soul. I've learned over the years that it's safer to be like this... alone and emotionally unattached. This is why I am the way that I am. But I want you to know that I haven't always been like this. I was once happy, positive, hopeful, and a good person. That being said, I don't want to completely lose myself to the evil that's coursing through my veins. I... I need a friend. I want to try and be your friend. And in order to prove to you that I have no malicious or duplicitous intentions, I'm going to tell you a secret that only a handful of people know" she says pausing and waiting for a response.

Malicious or duplicitous... oh my God...she was awake the other night when I said those things to her. But I can't turn around now. She could still be playing me.  
I'll simply stand my ground and chug this bottle of champagne instead of elegantly sipping it's intoxicating glory.

"When I was a freshman in college, I got dangerously drunk at a frat party. I was upset and depressed and just wanted to stop feeling like the weight of the world was resting upon my shoulders. So I drank and I drank until every inch of my body was numb. There was no one on this planet that could say anything or do anything to make me feel better. So I thought by drinking I could temporarily escape the constant suffocation I felt on a daily basis. I lost count of how many drinks I had that night. I lost the group that I came with and was contemplating leaving the party alone. Before I could leave, the guy I had a crush on in my criminal studies class pulled me aside to a nearby empty room and begged me to stay. I gave in and agreed to stay. That's when he started kissing me grabbing at different parts of my clothes. Even though I could barely see straight, I knew what he wanted. I also knew that I wasn't that type of girl and wasn't going to give him what he wanted. I drunkenly told him no but he remained persistent as he tried taking off my clothes. With everything I had left in me, I kneed him where it hurts and punched him as hard as I could once enough space formed between us. I was so upset and rattled from what almost happened that I ran to my car, not caring who saw me sobbing as I ran by. Even though I was drunk out of my mind and my body was constantly fighting to stay conscious, I drove off as fast as I could towards the townhouse I lived in. Of course a horrific storm began as I tore through pitch black desolate streets. Between my tears and the blinding rain pounding against my windshield, I could barely see anything in front of me. I was winding the final curve that dumped into the road that led to the townhouse complex...when it happened" Emily says stopping herself all of the sudden. I can hear her trying swallow the lump developing in her throat as she inevitably begins to cry. I want to turn around and comfort her but how can I do that when she'll probably throw my compassion back in my face? How do I know this is even a true story?

So I drink some more as I continue to gaze out into the New York skyline.

Taking a deep breath Emily croaks, "Out of nowhere, a girl appears just feet from my car. I... I... I couldn't stop in time. She was too close. I hit her with my car. The sound of my breaks screeching and her body violently crashing into my car as she subsequently tumbles over the roof still haunts me to this day. I immediately got out of the car and ran towards her. She was motionless and unconscious. I panicked and called my parents who were staying in a hotel 3 blocks away for the weekend while they closed a business deal with the university. As soon as I told them what happened, they ordered me not to call 911 seeing as she was still breathing and had a steady pulse. Minutes later, they arrived and completely took over the situation. I stood stiff as stone just looking at this poor girl's seemingly lifeless body on the pavement as a stream from the pouring rain rushed around the edges of her body. As my dad moved my car inside the private garage in my townhouse, my mom called 911. She told them that we were driving and came upon a unconscious, badly bruised girl laying in the street. As soon as she hung up the phone, she grabbed my arms and said, "The three of us were on our way to your place when we came upon this girl. Let your father and I do the talking. You stay quiet. We'll fix the drunken mess you've made". I couldn't find words so I just nodded. To make a long story short, the cops bought our story. The girl ended up in a coma for a few days and was paralyzed from the waist down. When she woke up, she remembered hearing my mother after she hung up the phone with the 911 operator. She knew I was the one that hit her. Even though I'd never seen her before, somehow, she knew who I was. But like my parents always do, they used their money to get what they wanted. They gave the girl and her family 25 million dollars to stay quiet about me driving drunk and hitting her with my car. Just like that. They just threw millions of dollars at them like it was nothing. Like what I did wasn't disgusting and wrong. The family agreed so ultimately; my parents were successful in covering up my mess. There's not a day that goes by that I don't regret how everything went down that night and in the months that followed. I still have nightmares. I still feel crushing guilt inside my chest. I still struggle to breathe. I get to live my life and she's stuck in that chair because of me. I'm never going to be able to forgive myself. So there. There you have it. A damning secret about me. Now the ball is in your court".

I don't even know what to say in this moment. For the first time in awhile, I've been rendered speechless. Racing, deafening thoughts bombard my mind as I silently try and process what she's just told me. This can't be real. She can't honestly be telling me this. This leaves her vulnerable and if there's one thing that's for sure about Emily Fields, she hates being vulnerable. And this... this is huge. If I were an awful person, I'd take this story back to my father and encourage that we use this against her mother's campaign. But I'm not a monster. I'm also not stupid. She's taught me to be guarded with her.

I can feel a battle waging inside myself.

Believe her. Turn around and talk to her.

No. She's lying. This is all a game. She's playing you for a fool. Protect yourself.

"If you don't believe me, you can have Caleb look it all up. Despite my parents efforts, I know there is a paper trail. And from what I've heard, Caleb is one of the best" Emily continues as she fights to compose herself.

"I'm going to go now. I can see you still have nothing to say to me" she continues. The clicking of her heels as she begins to walk away starts the clock... just counting down the seconds till I have to make a decision about what I'm going to do with this moment.

Make up your damn mind Alison. Talk to her or let her walk away.

I take a deep breath. I've made my decision. Now it's time to live with my choice.

"I've killed someone" I say suddenly.

Alison's POV

I can't believe I just admitted that. To Emily of all people.

The clicking sound of her designer heels immediately stops in response to my outburst. The sound of a roaring ambulance dozens of stories below on the city street is the only sound to fill my ears.

Nothing... She says nothing as she stands motionless with her back facing me. Great. I've really done it now. Turning my back on her, I begin to cry as I stare out into the night sky. That's when the sound of her heels begins again. Oh this is lovely. She's walking away and going to do God only knows what with that information.

Okay Ali, breathe. Just breathe. Close your eyes. In and out. That's it.

Suddenly, a warm hand glides over the top of mine, resting comfortably and enveloping itself in my hand.

"Don't cry. Tell me what happened" Emily coos sweetly.

While struggling to compose myself again, I can't seem peel my eyes away from her hand tucked in mine.

"Hey, look at me" Emily continues, "Tell me what happened".

Cautiously lifting my gaze to meet hers, I study Emily's face as I attempt to read her inner thoughts. Her eyes are full and focused. Her slight smile coaxes me continue. There's something different about the face I see before me. While familiar in a sense, it feels like we're meeting for the first time. The face before me is warm and soft... compassionate even. For the first time, I'm catching a glimpse of the sweeter side of Emily Fields and I want to soak it all in while I can.

"I don't even know where to begin" I groan helplessly as I remove my hand from her delicate embrace and nervously rub my hands together.

"Just start with the first thing that comes to mind" Emily replies matter of factly.

"A little over a year and a half ago, I met someone" I say as I lean against the ledge.

Mimicking my stance, Emily folds her arms across her torso and replies, "Go on".

"It's not in the way that you're thinking. It was wrong... so horribly wrong from the start. But that didn't matter to me. All judgment and reason went out the window. The possible repercussions didn't matter to me. I wanted him and that's all there was to it. You see, I committed one of the worst sins in my profession. As a licensed mental health counselor, you're obligated to maintain a professional relationship with your clients at all times. You're not supposed to share personal aspects of your life with your clients. The focus is on them. The moment the therapist-client relationship develops into something more than that, it's like you've spit on the Ten Commandments. Nathan originally came to me for help with his PTSD. He had recently come back from finishing 3 tours in the Middle East and was finally seeking help for his mental afflictions. From the very first session, I knew that I was attracted to him. Everything started out professional at first until he eventually began to feel better and experienced fewer episodes. I saw him begin to transform into a happier man and I couldn't help but take great pride in his accomplishments. Before I knew it, the dynamic between us became flirtatious but that invisible line remained uncrossed. Nathan was very charming and persistent. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I eventually gave in to his advances. Our relationship turned sexual the moment I let him kiss me and have his way with me in my office. In that moment, my desires and attraction towards him completely took over me. I didn't care that I broke the cardinal rule of therapy. He wanted me and I wanted him. He made me feel things that I'd never felt before. He made me feel sexy and desirable. I guess I'd been so deprived of a romantic or sexual connection for so long that the moment I'd found it, I pounced at the opportunity. I brought my personal issues and insecurities into the dynamic and made our relationship terribly wrong and unhealthy. We continued our relationship over the next six months. Truthfully, I think I was more in love with the idea of being in love and being in a relationship. I never found actual love and true fulfillment with Nathan like I desperately desired. He simply temporarily helped fill a void and lessen an insecurity. He filled a sexual need and he filled the void when I didn't want to be alone at night. I think I just woke up one day and couldn't handle the lies, the secrets, the guilt, and the unhealthy nature of our relationship anymore. I was lying to him and making him think we could be something when in reality, I could never truly give myself to Nathan. More importantly and detrimentally, I was lying to myself and compromising my integrity and my job. As a result, I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore, professionally or personally. Let's just say that he didn't take it very well. I offered to arrange another therapist for him to see but he refused. The moment I broke things off with him, he told me that, "I was going to regret this". For the next few weeks, he'd call or text me periodically... Always trying to get me to have a change of heart. I repeatedly told him that it was my fault that we ever crossed that forbidden line. I should have never had sex with him or continued to do so for months afterwards. Our relationship was unhealthy and he deserved better. One afternoon, everything came to a boiling point. I was in my office working on charting progress notes for each of my patients when my life turned upside down".

I struggle to form words as a large lump develops in my throat, distorting my voice and my ability to breathe clearly. Overdue, suppressed tears beg to escape my eyes as I begin to reflect on that horrible day.

"I was about to break for lunch when my dad suddenly burst into my office" I croak while wiping away a few tears that escaped my eyes. "In all my years, I'd never seen a look in his eyes like the one that was gazing back at me. It was angry, lost, scared, disappointed, confused, sad, and concerned all at once. I asked him what was wrong. I feared something had happened to my mother or brother. He remained speechless and handed me the folded up note in his hand. I anxiously opened the note and immediately knew it was from Nathan based on it's familiar, incredibly small handwriting. I'll never forget the awful words in that note".

"What did it say" Emily asks curiously.

"Alison Dilaurentis... I'm doing this because of you. You broke my heart and you broke me. I was doing so well until you took my heart and crushed it into a million little pieces. I want you to know what that pain feels like. I want you to know what all-consuming darkness and emptiness feels like. I have nothing left to live for so that's why I'm doing this. This is your fault. I hope you get up every single day, look in the mirror, and remember that if you hadn't ruined us, I wouldn't have killed myself. I hope you carry this burden for the rest of your life".

Recalling those words written so clearly and with such anger on that piece of paper still haunts me. So much so that I can practically see it in front of me like I'm reading it for the first time. The memory becomes too much for me to handle so I burst into uncontrollable, shaking sobs. Slumping to the cold, hard ground, I curl myself into a ball as I continue my hysteria.

Without hesitation, Emily sits down next to me and pulls me into her chest as she begins to soothingly rock us back and forth. After a few minutes sitting in silence as I cry in her arms, Emily urges me to continue.

Sniffling, I continue, "The moment I finished reading the note, I begged my father to tell me that they were able to get to Nathan in time and that he wasn't dead. He shook his head no and told me that Nathan shot himself in the head in his bedroom. My father and two other firefighters were the first ones on the scene. While the other two men checked the rest of the apartment to ensure everything was clear, my father noticed the note on the bedside table. The moment he saw my name on the note, he pocketed it before anyone could notice it and it became police evidence. In that moment, he wasn't acting as the fire chief. He was acting as a father. Even though he had no idea that I knew the unfamiliar dead man on the bed in front of him, he instinctively knew that if the police found out about whatever went on between us, it could greatly damage my life. And as my father, he decided that he needed to protect me even if that meant breaking the law by tampering with evidence. Emily I lost a bit of my soul that day. I felt like the devil himself had touched my skin causing an evil, poisonous infection to spread throughout my body. Everyday after that, I could feel it creeping closer and closer, threatening to seal the deal and forever extinguish the light in my heart. As a result of Nathan's suicide, I quit my practice and fell into a deep depression for months. When I started running out of money, I decided to open up a hair salon and close that chapter of my life forever. I was saying goodbye to the years of studying and hard work that I had put into my profession. I told myself that I'd never practice again because I was responsible for the death of a patient. I killed Nathan. I did that. Even though I didn't physically pull the trigger, I was there if you really think about it. My actions, my selfishness, and my mistakes drove him to kill himself. I was inside his head the moment he ended his life. If I had never crossed that line, he'd still be alive today. And he was right about one thing. I carry that guilt with me every single day of my life. But how could I not? I killed someone".

Alison's POV

After a few moments of silence in Emily's arms, I gingerly pull away from her embrace and wipe away the final tear to escape my eyes.

"So what do we do now" I ask as I overt my gaze downward and begin to fumble with my fingers.

Sighing loudly, Emily pauses, chuckles, and replies, "Well we have a few options. Now that we've both shared horribly traumatic life experiences with one another and have virtually blackmailed each other into secrecy, we could continue to drink our sorrows away with the rest of this giant bottle of champagne... Or we could go back to my place nearby and crash there for the night. You're in no shape to make it all the way back to your place. Plus I don't think you want your father to see you like this".

"You know what? You're right" I chuckle as I take the champagne bottle from her hands. "I'm a little too drunk for my father to see without being disappointed in me".

"And clearly I'm a little too wobbly to travel back to my place" I laugh as I attempt to stand up and ultimately fall flat on my butt.

Effortlessly rising from the floor, Emily laughs and snickers, "Yup. Come on you. My place it is" as she extends her hand for me to take.

Pulling me to my feet, Emily wraps my arm around her neck as she simultaneously slinks her arm around my waist to steady my gait.

"Oh how the tides have turned" I laugh as I we begin to walk towards the exit.

"Think of it as my way of saying thank you for taking care of me" Emily replies clearly understanding my reference.

Stepping into the empty elevator, Emily presses the button and leans us against the elevator wall.

"So when these doors open, you're going to have to walk on your own. I don't know who will be out there and I don't want them getting any ideas" Emily says suddenly in a stern tone of voice.

"What does that even mean" I ask feeling defensive all of the sudden.

"Well I can't exactly carry you like this in front of witnesses. There could be paparazzi outside. You don't want them taking pictures and then running a crazy story now do you" she asks now looking me square in the eye.

"Oh" I reply unable to return her gaze. "You're right. I don't want to mess up my dad's campaign".

Once the elevator doors to the basement parking garage open, Emily and I break our embrace and she gestures me to follow her.

"My driver is right over there. He'll take us to my apartment" she replies with a slight smile.

Ducking into the black limousine, Emily closes my door and quickly gets in on the other side, frantically looking around for witnesses.

"I think we're all clear" she replies audibly to no one in particular.

Cruising off to her apartment, we sit silently while gazing out our respective windows. Feeling nauseous all of the sudden, I close my eyes and begin to take in slow, cleansing breaths in an attempt to calm the intoxicated, brewing storm within me. Upon reflection of this evening's events, I still can't believe that I shared that awful chapter of my life with Emily. That being said, I don't regret my choice. I feel like our moments of honesty have led us to this point in our dynamic. I feel like we've taken the first step in becoming friends. Deep down, I feel like we need each other's friendship.

"Hey we're here" Emily says cheerfully while lightly tapping my arm.

After thanking the driver, I slowly and carefully step out of the limousine and attempt to make my way around the back of the car to follow Emily upstairs.

"Grandma was slow but she was 99" Emily says while tapping a pretend watch on her wrist.

"Screw you" I laugh while continuing to slowly walk towards her. "I'm drunk and I'm in heels. This southern gal doesn't really do heels".

"Hey" I continue as I finally catch up to Emily who is not so patiently waiting for me on the steps leading to her apartment building. "Did you thank your driver?"

With heavily furrowed brows and a profound look of confusion, Emily replies, "No, why would I? It's his job".

"I'm not stepping foot in your apartment unless you thank him and say something nice to him" I reply while forcefully putting my foot down and crossing my arms over my torso.

"Ughhhh fine" Emily groans as she descends the steps and goes to speak with the driver.

After a few seconds of talking, I see the driver finally crack a genuine smile and extend his hand for Emily to shake. Once they both bid farewell, I interject, "Now see. Was that so hard? It takes two seconds to be nice to someone".

"Okay maybe you're right" Emily replies rolling her eyes and briefly flashing a happy smile.

"You know you're much more attractive and approachable when you flash that happy smile" I state bluntly when we arrive at the front door to her apartment.

"Oh shut up" Emily quips as she opens the door and enters the doorway, "I'm attractive 24/7".

"Not with an attitude like that" I chuckle as I follow her inside and close the door.

Turning around, I'm instantly taken back by the sight before me.  
Emily's apartment is virtually spotless. The minimalistic interior is decorated with crisp, white furniture and accents. Upon entering the apartment, your eyes are treated to an open, expansive living room that flows into a modernized, professional kitchen. I know Emily's saying something to me but my attention is elsewhere.

Completely mesmerized by the majestic piece on the other side of the room, I quietly walk closer to it. My fingertips graze it's surface, taking in it's white, sleek, cold exterior.

"Please tell me you play and that this exquisite piano is not just for decoration" I plead as Emily stands next to me while lovingly gazing down at her piano. I can almost see the memories flashing before her eyes as she continues smiling down at it.

Sitting down on the bench in front of the piano, Emily cracks her knuckles and daintily hovers her hands above the keys.

"Hmm. Shall we see" she questions now turning her attention to me. "But first. Answer something for me" she continues.

"Sure. Anything" I reply quickly.

"Are my suspicions correct? Is there a beautiful singing voice underneath that charming southern accents of yours" she questions while raising one of her eyebrows.

Sitting down next to her, I smile at her curious face and reply, "Shall we see?".

Smirking at my response, Emily turns her attention to the keys once more and begins to play. I instantly recognize the song yet remain silent in order to fully absorb her performance. As I silently watch Emily, my amazement only grows. Her hands easily glide across the keyboard and her fingertips perfectly strike each key with purpose and an ingrained need to tell a story. Her face is calm and completely engrossed in the moment with her piano. This kind of talent can't be taught. Emily is a natural musician blessed with an innate, beautiful gift. Emily simply doesn't go through the motions. She feels the music, each note, each rise and fall, and the underlying message of the piece. Once she finishes, Emily stops and smiles brightly at me.

"Now that was exceptional" I reply and return her beaming smile.

"Thank you. Now your turn. Pick a song. Any song" she replies while hovering her hands over the keys in preparation.

"You expect me to sing after an effortless performance like that" I ask pointing to the keyboard.

"Yes actually. I want to hear what hidden gem is tucked away underneath all of that country" Emily replies pointing at me.

Pausing for a moment, I ponder my song choice. "I've got it" I excitedly announce. "Tale As Old As Time" I reply smirking at her.

Throwing her hands in the air, Emily gripes, "Oh lord you chose that song because it's a two person song".

"You betcha bottom dollar I did" I chuckle. "Plus I do believe that you said that I could pick any song. Oh and I also have a feeling that you can sing too" I wink.

"Oh good grief I cannot" she retorts as she begins to play the song.

Emily's miniature temper tantrum quickly fades as she begins to listen to me sing. A small smiles replaces her once frown filled lips as she continues to glide across the keys. Soon we're both smiling as our voices quickly melt together in song. By the end of the song, I find myself wanting to continue singing with Emily. I feel like this was our first purely happy moment together as friends.

"You have quite the voice" Emily says after lightly shoving my arm. "Earthy, country, slightly jazzy vibe to it. I really like it".

"Why thank you. My dad describes it the exact same way" I respond while looking down at my hands. "I'd also like to add that my suspicions were correct. You can hold a tune no doubt about it".

Suddenly, Emily's hand envelopes mine, causing me to look up into her rich, dark, brown eyes.

"Thank you Alison. You've brought music back into this apartment and back into my life. I haven't played this piano in years. It feels incredible to be back at it again" Emily says sweetly.

"Don't mention it. I had fun" I reply smiling back at her. "It's fun learning more about the mysterious, complex Emily Fields".

Alison's POV

"Oh dear God my head" I groan as I cautiously open my eyes and begin to rub my temples in a circular motion.

Looking around, I realize I am in an unfamiliar room, in an unfamiliar bed, wearing unfamiliar clothing.

"What the" I say to myself before the memories of last night come rushing back to me. Gazing over to my left, I instantly smile at the vision before me. Just inches away from me, Emily sleeps peacefully, occasionally emitting a soft, whistling snore. How is it possible for one person to be so cold, bitchy, lonely, and sweet all at the same time? And to such contrasting degrees might I add. Not wanting to wake her, I quietly slide out of her bed and make my way to the kitchen in hopes of curing this horrific hangover. Trying to find my bearings, I begin to open up various cabinets in search of what I need to make us breakfast.

"While you're welcome to anything in this apartment, you're not welcome in my kitchen" Emily suddenly says behind me.

Spinning around with a spatula in my hand, I realize Emily is leaning against the doorway with her hands folded across her torso just smirking at me.

"And why might that be" I challenge boldly.

Pushing herself away from the doorway, Emily chuckles and begins to walk in my direction.

"Because no one on this planet gets to cook in my kitchen " she replies slowly taking the spatula out of my hand.

"This is my baby...I designed it myself and it only knows it's Mama's touch" she adds while pulling ingredients out of the fridge.

"Like that's not weird or anything" I retort as I plop myself on one of the kitchen island bar stools.

Emily shakes her head at me, smiles to herself, and continues, "You just wait till I'm done. Then you'll see what I'm talking about".

"Is there anything you can't do" I ask as I watch Emily mindlessly work her way around the kitchen with an air of professionalism and experience behind her movements.

After sprinkling freshly cracked black pepper on top of her omelets creations, Emily hands one to me, winks, and replies, "Nope. I'm pretty damn perfect".

"Ha" I blurt out laughing loudly. "Too bad I know you don't believe that".

Emily sits down next to me and replies, "Maybe I do, maybe I don't. The world may never know" before taking a big bite of her omelet.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again. I see you right through you Emily Fields" I warn as I take my first bite.

"Damn this is really good" I think to myself. There's no way in hell I'll give her the satisfaction of knowing that though.

"It's okay. I know you think it's good. You're just too damn stubborn to admit it" Emily interjects never taking her eyes off of her plate.

"Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. The world may never know" I reply smirking down at my plate.

"But enough with the banter" I continue. "So is this place all yours or do you live with the mighty, powerful, dashing Mr. Pride?"

Emily nearly chokes on the food in her mouth in response to my question. Wiping her mouth with a napkin, Emily clears her throat and replies, "No. Just me".

"Why such a strong reaction? From everything I've seen in pictures, you all look perfect together. You seem happy too" I inquire.

"You can't believe everything you see in pictures" Emily mumbles as she jumps off the bar stool and takes her plate to the sink.

Clearly I've hit a nerve and ponder whether or not I should continue pressing the subject.

"I can hear you thinking all the way over here" Emily interjects as cleans her plate with sudsy water.

Before I can open my mouth to respond, a loud knock at the door interrupts me.

"I'll get it" Emily states as she dries her hands with the kitchen towel and throws it over her shoulder.

After peeping through the hole in the front door, Emily pauses and briefly rests her head against the door before opening it.

"Hey baby! I've missed you" a strong male voice says from the other side of the door.

"Hey you" Emily replies smiling before Jacob enters the doorway, sweeping Emily off her feet, and spinning them around in a circle.

Gently placing her on the ground, Jacob cups his hand on her face and pulls her in for a kiss.

Pulling away almost immediately after their lips met, Emily places her hand on his chest and slightly pushes herself away from him.

"Jacob, I have company" Emily whispers looking down at the floor while breaking their embrace.

Jacob's face crinkles in confusion as he begins to look around the apartment. When his enchanting green eyes meet mine, they widen the second he realizes who I am.

"Umm Emily what is she doing here? Does your mother know she's here" Jacob asks plainly as he turns his attention back to Emily.

I take this as my cue to leave so I quietly walk back to Emily's room to gather my things. I can hear the clanging of dishes, running water, and hushed voices as I hurriedly pick up my clothes, shoes, purse, and phone. Returning to the living room with my belongings, I silently walk towards the front door in hopes that I can leave undetected as Emily and Jacob continue their hushed discussion in the kitchen.

My mind feels like it's being pulled in 50 different directions right now. Between the conversation Emily and I had before the knock at the door, the conflicting interaction I witnessed between Jacob and Emily, and my burning need to get away from it all, I solely focused on getting out of her apartment as fast as possible.

As I began to walk down the hallway towards the elevator, I finally release the tense breath I was holding in during that entire experience.

"Alison wait" I suddenly hear behind me.

Turning around, I see Emily running down the hallway in my direction.

"I'm sorry about that" she says with a concerned and slightly upset look on her face.

"There's no need" I reply waving off her apology. "I should get going anyways".

"But" Emily states before I cut her off saying, "It's okay Emily. Really".

Emily's eyebrows suddenly furrow as I see thoughts begin to swirl behind those big eyes of hers. Finally, Emily simply nods her head and turns to walk back towards her apartment.

After watching her take a few steps down the hall, I begin to feel a raising, creeping sensation in my chest that makes me feel uncomfortable. Leaving things like this doesn't feel right. I can tell she's feeling conflicted right now. Even though I'm not upset, I can tell that Emily is upset.

"Emily" I say abruptly.

Stopping dead in her tracks, she turns around and waits for me to continue.

"You were right" I add plainly.

"About what" she asks sounding confused.

"It was delicious" I continue while adding a slight smirk at the end of my admission.

Emily smiles her happy, toothy smile that I've come to enjoy before she replies, "You're welcome Alison".

Emily's POV

Locking the door behind me, I return to my kitchen to finish cleaning up the remnants of breakfast with Alison. I scrub the last dish till it's spotless and release an audible sigh as I place it on the drying wrack.

Without warning, large, warm hands rest on my waist and turn my body in the opposite direction.

"Hey, Em... I'm just trying to look out for you. The whole thing just surprised me. That's all" Jacob states looking down at me with a puppy dog look on his face.

"I know" I reply plainly.

"I hope I didn't ruin any master plan you had going to butter her up and get information out of her" Jacob adds while pulling me in at the waist. "Because I know there's no way you're actually trying to me friends with that chick. She's just a great source for information... An unknowing weapon of sorts".

"Uh... something like that" I blurt out not fully prepared for a proper excuse.

Jacob grins and replies, "That's my girl. Such a predator".

"Now that all of that is settled" he continues with that look on his face that I know only means one thing.

"I want to feel you underneath me" he whispers in a husky voice in my ear.

Picking me up and wrapping my legs around his waist, Jacob carries me into the bedroom.

Even as I reciprocate his kisses, I feel like I'm not fully in the moment. Once again, I feel like I'm in a million different places and like I'm falling back into old habits. Worst of all though, I fear that due to my unprepared response to Jacob's statements, I've given life to a sinister thought that my mother will undoubtedly try to exploit if she catches wind of it. I fear that I've started something wonderful and positive with Alison that I'll never be able to completely enjoy. I fear the darkness that encompasses me and resides within me will be too much to overpower.

As I roll over on top of Jacob, I realize that I'm not necessarily doing this because I want to. In a normal world, after not seeing my boyfriend in awhile, I should be happily and eagerly ripping off his clothes. After a year and a half, I should have moved on from the stage of having sex to making love. The simple fact of the matter is, I'm not. This experience won't be awful or completely unenjoyable though. I frankly won't allow it to be. I'll just do what I always do. Take charge and get the end result that I want. My heart won't be fully in it though.

Will the day ever come where I effortlessly give myself to someone else? Is that even a possibility for me after all of the atrocious acts I've committed in my life? Will a life without love serve as my penance?

Alison's POV

As I ascend the steps to my apartment, I can't seem to rid my thoughts of this morning. My new found friendship with Emily is as fragile as glass. Even though we have made some real, positive, strides, I still feel like we are wary of one another and aren't fully committing. It's almost like we're dipping our toes into the water, testing to see if it's safe enough to continue.

What is it going to take for us to break through that barrier? What is it going to take for me to remove a layer of bricks from my wall of safety?

Locking up the apartment door behind me conjures the image of Emily's face the instant she realized who was waiting on the other side of the door. In the moment, I couldn't quite read what it meant. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I'm still not sure what that was all about. And the way she quickly removed herself from his embrace...Why did she did she do that? It's completely normal for couples to be excited to see one another and even share a kiss. There's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about especially since they've been dating for quite a long time now. From their pictures, they seem happy. In turn, she exhibits fleeting moments of happiness in his presence. But then there was her reaction to the notion of them living together... God I don't understand the entire dynamic! It's far too complicated for my liking.

"Why the hell are you so deep in thought" a female voice questions behind me and causes me to jump in pure fright.

"What the hell Hanna!? You scared the crap out of me! What are you doing in my apartment? Better yet how did you get in my apartment" I ask while leaning against the door and trying to catch my breath.

Glaring at me, Hanna gets up from the couch and makes her way towards me with a predatory look in her eyes. "Where the hell have you been" she asks placing her hands on her hips.

"Why are you so full of questions" I reply while trying to buy myself time to come up with a good excuse.

"Don't answer the question with a question" Hanna retorts as she narrows her focus even more.

"I spent the night somewhere else and now I'm home. Simple as that" I reply plainly as I make my way to my room to change clothes.

"Did you go home with that guy you were flirting with last night" Hanna asks bluntly.

I grab a pair of workout shorts and an oversized t-shirt and begin to change. "Hanna, I don't see how that is any of your business" I reply defensively.

"But you're not denying it. Ali you know the more you try to hide, the more I pry" Hanna warns as she enters my bedroom.

"Okay fine! Yes. You called it" I huff as I throw her a look of defeat.

Hanna pauses for a moment and becomes visibly angry with me. Her face even looks disappointed in me. "Why the fuck are you lying to me Alison? I thought we were friends" Hanna suddenly yells.

"I'm not" I yell in response.

"Yes you are" Hanna replies with an even higher pitch. "I know you are because when I left the venue, he stopped me and was looking for you. So nice try. How about you really tell me what happened" Hanna says sitting down on my bed and encouraging me to do the same.

I pause for a moment and analyze the best course of action moving forward. I know Hanna. She's not going to drop this. That being said, I can't tell her every detail about last night. I'll settled for an abbreviated version. Sighing loudly, I throw myself on the bed next to her and lay flat on my back looking up at the ceiling. Luckily, Hanna reciprocates this position, leaving me with the gift of not having to look her in the eyes while I provide a shortened version of reality.

"I got wasted last night" I begin almost a little too dramatically. "And... well... Emily Fields found me and took me back to her place so she could take care of me".

"Excuse me what?!" Hanna shouts flying up into a seated position.

"Do you want to hear what happened or not" I ask feeling quite annoyed. Luckily she returns to laying down again.

"I don't remember much, but I know I ended up falling asleep there. I woke up in those clothes and she made breakfast for me to help with my massive hangover. That's it really" I say finishing my heavily omitted story.

Hanna remains silent for awhile after I finished. Lord I hope she buys this explanation.

"I just don't get it. Why was she nice to you? She's such a bitch" Hanna states still clearly deep in thought.

"I don't know Hanna. She's honestly not as bad as you'd think. She takes some getting to used to in order to begin to understand her.

"I don't know Ali. I don't like this" she replies sounding worried. "How do you know she's not buttering you up to try and get information out of you and ruin your father's campaign" Hanna inquires further.

"You may be right" I reply agreeably. "It was probably just a one time thing though" I lie hoping she believes me.

"It better be" Hanna warns. "I don't want Emily to hurt you".

Emily's POV

As I rest naked in my bed, enjoying the silky texture of my sheets against my bare skin while simultaneously listening to the constant flow of water from Jacob's shower, my thoughts wander to last night. I still struggle to believe that I actually told Alison about that awful time in my life. That being said, I don't regret telling her. In a sense, it makes me want to open up even more especially since she was willing to be forthcoming with her own dark secrets.

A knock at the front door brings me out of my thoughts. Throwing on my robe, I peep through the hole in the door and see Spencer and Aria waiting for me to open it.

"Hey guys" I say joyfully as I swing open the door.

"We need to talk" Aria replies bluntly while throwing me a death glare.

"Nice stunt you pulled last night" Spencer huffs as she enters my apartment with Aria following right behind her.

Slamming my door loudly, I spit angrily, "I don't know where you two get off by talking to me in that tone of voice. Especially when I haven't done anything wrong and frankly have no idea what you're talking about".

Spinning around to face me, Spencer counters, "Judging by your level of defensiveness, I'd gather that you know exactly what we are talking about".

"Well since you two seems to be able to read my mind so well and have all the answers, how about you start talking and stop attacking me" I snap back while pointing at them angrily.

Aria steps in between the ensuing staring competition and replies, "We know you were with Alison last night. The only thing we can't seem to comprehend is why".

"She was wasted. She needed help. I helped her. End of story. Nothing more, nothing less" I respond.

"That doesn't sound like something you would do" Spencer interjects.

"I don't really care what either of you think. But I would like to understand one thing. How the hell did you two know that" I ask as my mind prays that my suspicions are not correct.

Spencer snickers and replies, "Have you forgotten what our job is Emily? It's our job to help improve your image and help your mother's campaign. We can't do that unless we have eyes on you at all times. You know exactly who ordered that".

Deep inside, my emotions begin to boil like a cauldron full of hot lava. How dare she have me followed. I realize that I messed up but that's no excuse to invade my privacy like that. I can't keep living as a puppet, just strung along and manipulated based on any whim she may have at the moment.

"You two need to go" I finally reply as I open my apartment door and gesture them to leave.

"Emily please. We're" Aria responds before I cut her off saying in a calm tone of voice, "I know. But please leave. I have something that I need to handle".

Spencer and Aria walk silently past me and out of my apartment without saying another word on the matter.

The moment the door closes shut, I reach for the first thing I see and hurl it across the room in a fit of rage.

"Damn! Em! What the hell" Jacob says while peering out from the bedroom doorway in his business suit.

"It's nothing" I mumble as I walk past him and into my room.

"It's obviously something" he replies trying to get me to open up.

"Nothing I can't handle" I answer. "Now go. I don't want you to be late for that meeting with Groveland".

As soon as Jacob leaves my apartment, I hurriedly get dressed so I can pay my mother a visit and have a little chat. A buzz from my phone on the kitchen counter peels me away from my brooding, infuriated state. Jesus it's probably Aria, Spencer, or Jacob texting me with some sort of bullshit.

Picking up my phone, I quickly realize that I'm mistaken.

"Hey Emily, it's Alison. 10pm tonight. Be ready. Dress cute. Not like a snob either. Dress like a damn normal person. I'm picking you up" I say aloud as I read the text message.

What the heck does this cryptic text message really entail? The uncertainty of it all admittedly intrigues me.

"What makes you think I'm not busy" I reply.

A few minutes later, Alison responds, "Clear your schedule. You are "The Emily Fields". Trust me. You'll love this".

Looking down at my phone, I contemplate whether or not I want to agree to whatever she has planned for us to do tonight. Who am I kidding? I'm curious and I honestly want to hang out with her. I don't want to be alone again tonight.

"Since you've asked so nicely, I'll be ready. Don't make me regret this country mouse" I reply before stuffing my phone in my back pocket and heading out the door.

"Welcome Ms. Fields. Your mom is busy with someone in her office at the moment but I will let her know you're here" a soft voice announces the moment I step out of the elevator.

"Don't bother Regina. She'll see me now" I reply forcefully waving off her bullshit formalities as I bolt straight for her office.

As I approach the towering, heavy, metal doors, I notice that the door has been left slightly ajar. I creep closer and pause to listen to what is being discussed in such hush-hush tones. Clearly it's my mother and a man virtually whispering to the point where I can barely detect a word they are saying. "This can't get out" the male voice says sharply.

"Forget this waiting game" I think to myself as I knock and push my way through the door only to be taken back by the unlikely visitor.

"Oh, Chief Dilaurentis... Hello" I say politely with a slight wave.

The Chief and my mother instantly turn their attention towards me. I can tell that I've interrupted an intense conversation judging from the surprised looks on their faces.

"Hello Emily" he responds with a warm smile. "How are you doing today" he asks making his way towards me.

"I... I'm doing well. Thank you for asking" I reply shaking his hand. Quickly looking towards my mother in attempts to assess the situation, I once again find myself unable to read her face.

"Glad to hear it" he answers before turning around to bid farewell to my mother.

"What the hell was that all about" I ask as soon as I hear the door completely shut behind him.

"That my dear would be none of your business" she replies from behind her desk.

"And the matter of this unexpected visit" my mother asks as she stares at something on her computer screen.

"I know you're having me followed. And I want you to stop" I reply sternly.

My mother's dark, piercing eyes transition themselves to focusing squarely with mine as she replies, "You don't get to make that call. But I must say that I was intrigued by your choices last night. I sincerely hope you have very good reasons and maybe even a plan. There will be no time for frivolous encounters. Your focus is on this campaign. Nothing will get in the way of that. Need I mind you that you still owe me for your less than stellar debate performance".

And just like that... I'm back under her thumb again. Back to feeling smaller than a grain of sand. Back to feeling guilty and like I'll never be able to repay her. Back to never feeling like enough.

Turning around silently to exit her office, I stop myself in the doorway and make a final attempt to have her back off.  
"Do I need to remind you of the person I've become and what I'm capable of doing in order to get results? I'm a miniature you remember?...Call off your dogs mother".

Emily's POV

It's a little before 10pm and I'm anxiously waiting for Alison to knock on my door. I must admit that going somewhere without knowing what's about to happen kind of unnerves me and excites me all at once. I never do anything like this. Every move I make and everything I do is always meticulously planned and calculated. Possibilities and risks are analyzed heavily before I ever make a move or a finalize a decision. Not tonight though.

Alison told me to dress like a normal person and not like a snotty rich person. Little does she know, I don't prefer to dress in expensive designer clothes all the time. While it's fun to get dressed up, I much prefer comfort. That's why I went with black Keds, black denim jeans, a cute hunter green top, and a dark washed denim shirt.

A light knock on the door captures my attention and encourages me to answer the door.

"Well look who knows how to follow directions" Alison teases after she finishes checking out my look for the evening.

"Keds, skinny jeans, plain white tee, denim shirt tied around the waist, and a half up, half down, curled hairstyle... Not half bad Dilaurentis" I tease checking out her outfit with an equal level of scrutiny.

"Not half bad" she questions. "I look pretty darn fabulous if I do say so myself" she continues with a hair flip before turning and heading for the elevator.

"Hey wait! Hold up" I reply as I rush to lock up my apartment and follow her down the hall.

"Better keep up City Mouse. Don't want to get left in the dirt now do ya" Alison replies looking over her shoulder and throwing me a quick wink.

"So where are we going" I ask curiously as I step into the cab waiting for us downstairs.

"That would be a surprise. I'll let you know when we get there" she replies with a massive, excited smile.

"Just so you know, I hate surprises" I explain as I nervously look down at my lap and begin to rub my hands together.

"Hey" Alison says while gently holding one of my hands, "This will be fun. Live a little Fields".

"I guess you're right" I respond trying to convince myself that I'm about to have a good night.

After a cab ride, a stint on the commuter rails, and a walk on the busy city street, I inquire again about where we were heading.

"We're almost there" Alison replies while picking up the pace of our walk.

"So I gather that we are somewhere in New Jersey. But I'm so lost as to what we are about to do" I add as I pick up my pace to follow her lead.

Stopping dead in her tracks and jumping around to face me, Alison announces joyfully, "Annddd we're here".

Looking upward, I see a rickety, old sign that reads, "Rowdy's Rockin Brew".

"Here... we're going here" I reluctantly ask pointing to the entrance to the bar.

"Yup" Alison replies sounding just as animated as before.

Sensing my hesitancy, Alison reaches out, grabs my hand, and asks, "Do you trust me"?

"I... I guess so" I reply honestly.

Pulling me into the bar, she groans, "Oh come on Emily. Live a little! Let's grab a drink".

Releasing my hand once we reach the bar top, Alison says to the bartender, "2 Long Islands please".

"Long Island... What is that" I ask not knowing what I'm about to drink.

"Oh this my friend is about to loosen you up" she responds laughing devilishly. "It's also a favorite amongst us country folk" she continues.

Once the bartender returns with our drinks, Alison hands me a tall glass of something that smells strong yet absolutely amazing at the same time. "Cheers" she says clinking our glasses together. "Let's find a seat before it starts".

After settling down to a table top for two, Alison takes the first large sip of her drink. "Don't be shy Fields. Drink up".

"Here goes nothing" I say before taking my first sip. "Holy crap that's strong" I choke and simultaneously cause Alison to burst out laughing. Smacking my chest and clearing my throat, I continue, "But pretty damn delicious".

"Daddy always says if they're made properly, a few of these will put hairs on your chest" Alison laughs before taking another sip.

"Oh Jesus I'm not sure I want to do that" I chuckle as I begin to settle into my surroundings.

"Testing, testing" a male voice says suddenly while tapping on the microphone on a small stage in the back of the bar. "We will begin the night with our usual batch of performers. Then we will open the floor to anyone that would like to perform. And please... don't bother if you can't actually sing. And believe me, I'll let you know if you can't sing".

The crowd laughs in response to his brutal honesty. To be honest, I found his honesty to be hilarious and refreshing.

Suddenly, a thought crosses mind and immediately causes me to turn my attention to a smiley Alison.

"I see you've had a light bulb moment" Alison says smirking at me.

"You want us to perform when they open the floor to the crowd don't you" I ask feeling the anxiety build in my chest.

"You called it" Alison cheers. "As you can see, they have a piano".

"Whoa, whoa, whoa" I reply throwing my hands up defensively.

"Now I'll admit that I enjoyed singing with you when we were in my apartment alone. But this? In front of these people? I... I don't know Alison" I add as I look out into the crowd at the bar.

"Are you worried someone will recognize us" Alison asks while reaching across the table and lightly holding my hand. "Because I made sure I picked a small venue in a bar outside of the city. Look around, the lighting sucks in here too. I honestly doubt anyone will recognize us" she continues as she attempts to comfort me.

As I look around the bar, I begin to realize that she's right. I'm still anxious about performing in front of strangers though.

"Can we just drink, talk, and enjoy the performers for a little while as I think about it" I ask trying to establish a temporary compromise.

"Of course" Alison replies. "We've got all night".

For the next couple of hours, Alison and I talk, laugh, drink, and enjoy the various performers that come and go from the small stage. I find myself having a genuinely good time learning more about Alison and listening to some incredibly talented singers and musicians. For once, I'm having fun and doing something that brings a smile to my face. I'm out living a normal life instead of getting blackout drunk and numbing my sorrows away.

"It's 1:15 right now" Alison says after looking at her phone. "They shut down to open mic at 1:30. If you still don't want to do it, I obviously can't make you do it. But I really think the two of us could shut this place down" she adds trying to boost my confidence.

"I blame the three Long Island's I've had" I reply laughing. "Because I suddenly feel like you're exactly right".

"Oh my gosh are you serious? Yay this is so exciting" Alison exclaims.

"What do you want to perform" she asks eagerly.

My eyes widen the moment I think of the perfect song to showcase both of our voices.

"You've thought of something" Alison states as she studies my face.

"Do you trust me" I ask.

Alison pauses, narrowing her eyes at me, and finally replies, "Okay. I trust you".

Grabbing her hand, I pull her away from the table and towards the stage. Steps from the stage, I turn around and say, "Follow my lead. I know you'll know this song".

I immediately walk over to the piano and stretch my fingers as Alison takes a seat on the stool in front of the microphone that's set almost adjacent to the piano.

Taking a deep breath, Alison smiles a slight, nervous smile and says into the microphone, "So I have no idea which song we are about to sing...And yea buddy in the back, I see you having a small heart attack. You and me both. But no need to fret. I know that I can sing. And this girl knows her way around a piano so just sit back, grab a drink, and enjoy yourself".

A smile creeps across my face at her sudden boost in confidence and the fact that she's placing her trust in me.

As the lights dim and a pale blue light focuses it's colorful glow upon us, I take a deep breath, strike a few keys, and sing, "I've heard it said...That people come into our lives for a reason".

Alison instantaneously turns towards me with an enormous smile on her face... confirming her familiarity with the song.

To add to the delight that I am already feeling, the crowd begins to cheer, hoot, and holler once they recognize the song we are going to sing. In my mind, I knew that For Good is an immensely challenging song to sing...Add on the fact that we've never performed this song together before. Don't ask me how or why, but something inside me just knew that we could pull this off.

The more I play and the more I sing, the more confident I feel. All of the fears and anxiety I once felt at the mere notion of performing like this simply melt away.

As I finish my solo portion of the song, I look up from the piano and watch Alison begin her part of the song. Right away, I'm struck by what my eyes behold before me. Whether it's the blue light that casts a flattering glow upon Alison's pale skin or the twinkle in her ocean blue eyes as she sings, but for the first time since I've met Alison, I feel like I finally recognize the depth of her beauty. She appears so blissful and at complete peace as she commands the audience's attention. To put things simply, I can't take my eyes off of her.

The moment before the peak of the song, Alison stands up from the stool, effortlessly removes the microphone from the stand, and focuses all of her attention on me. In that instant, we are no longer singing to a crowd in a bar. All of the onlookers disappear, leaving the two of us to fill every crevice of the room with our increasingly booming voices. Every hair on my body stands at attention as a result of the sensation I feel as I sing to Alison and as Alison sings to me.

At the resolution of the song, the audience erupts into a thunderous applause that only continues as more and more people stand up from their chairs to continue clapping. Alison and I finally peel our eyes off of one another and stand side by side at the front of the stage to take a bow.

Leaning over, Alison whispers in my ear, "You have a really beautiful smile when you're genuinely happy".

"Come on. Let's get out of here" I reply as I lead us towards the exit. As I burst through the doorway and take in the crisp, late night air, I struggle to come to terms with the sensations and emotions I'm feeling in the moment.

"What's the matter Emily" Alison asks sounding concerned.

Looking up into those big, blue eyes, I pull her close for a bear hug. Pulling away from her, I blurt out, "Thank you so much for that. You were right. We totally killed that. I feel invincible right now. That... now that was incredible. You were incredible. You owned that performance. I just can't handle or accurately describe all that I am feeling right now".

"That my dear is what you call fun and happiness" Alison replies patting my shoulder. "You should try it more often".

Wrapping her arm around my shoulder as she guides us down the street, Alison continues, "Love the song choice by the way. Risky, but I totally think we nailed it. Now come on, I bet there's gotta be a food truck around here somewhere. This blonde is hungry".

Emily's POV

"So how are those ribs of yours doing" Alison randomly asks as we chow down on the tacos we purchased once we were back in the city.

Gingerly touching my side as we aimlessly stroll through a playground, I answer, "I try not to think about them. But in moments where I slow down... ya know, kinda like this... I realize just how much they still hurt".

"I'm sure Jacob freaked when you told him what happened" Alison continues before taking a large bite from her soft taco.

"Well" I reply hesitantly.

"Oh my God Emily! You didn't tell him!? Why didn't you" Alison questions almost as if she is scolding me.

"Well... we were preoccupied" I answer hoping she'll just drop the conversation.

Deep in thought, Alison suddenly blurts out, "Ewww oh Jesus" the moment she realizes what I'm referring to.

"Literally how" she asks dramatically with the same horrified and grossed out look plastered across her face.

Theatrically extending my arms and legs out wide, I reply, "Lazy starfish position".

Alison slaps my arm roughly and scolds, "Emily Fields don't be nasty" all the while trying to suppress a giggle.

"Don't chastise me" I reply back defensively as I chuckle at the prudish front she's displaying. "You can't tell me that you've never pulled that move in between the sheets".

"No. I can't say that I have" Alison replies with a devilish look as she holds her head high. "I tend to keep things spicy" she adds matter of factly.

"Oh so maybe you aren't a prude after all" I laugh in response to her sudden suggestive turn.

Out of the corner of my eye, something unexpectedly captures my attention off in the distance.  
Upon further inspection, I see a hooded figure, dressed in all black, lurking behind a tree. I overt my eyes downward in hopes that this individual hasn't caught on to the fact that I see them stalking us from afar. Lifting my head again, I see the figure is now holding something at eye level.

"Oh my God. Are you kidding me" I mumble to myself as I feel my tolerance for bullshit quickly reach it's limit.

"What did you say" Alison asks curiously.

"Oh..." I reply realizing that I said that aloud. "Lemme throw away your trash".

"Thank you" Alison replies while handing me a small paper plate.

Nonchalantly veering off alone to the nearest trashcan ahead of us, I casually throw away the trash. The hooded figure is now only about 30 yards away from me and still doesn't suspect that I am aware of his or her presence. For a moment, I question whether or not I should let this go or if I should face this head on.

As quick as a bolt of lightning, I take off sprinting at full speed towards the hooded figure. Realizing that they've been caught, the creeper begins to run away from me and head towards the main streets. My lungs feel like they're on the verge of exploding in my chest as I continue to chase after this person. The pain in my chest as a result of my broken ribs practically begs the rest of my body to suspend my pursuit. My rage and determination temporarily win this battle and continue fuel my sprinting. Block after block, I chase this bastard through crowds of people, honking cars, and down every alleyway they turn in a futile attempt to distance themselves. I can tell that they're getting tired because I can feel myself gaining on them. After changing direction down an empty street, I turn on what little gas I have left in the tank in order to close the few paces that separate us. As a last ditch effort, I launch myself forward and tackle the hooded figure to the ground. A scuffle ensues on the pavement with me ultimately turning the person over and crawling on top of him.

"Tell me who you work for" I yell harshly at the scruffy millennial pinned beneath me.

After a few seconds of no response I yell even louder, "Tell me who you work for NOW"!

"Y.. your m..mother" he manages to reply while cowering in fear at the sight of my raised fist that's poised to throw a punch at any moment.

"Damn it! I knew it" I scream angrily as I raise my fist higher in the air in preparation to connect my fist with his stupid face.

"Emily don't" a nervous voice pleads behind me.

Turning my attention to the source, I see Alison bent over with her hands on her knees as she attempts to catch her breath.

"Please... for me" she pants continuing to plead with me.

"You're lucky she's here" I growl as reach for the camera that he dropped on the floor.

Towering over him now, I order, "Now leave before I change my mind and beat your face into the sidewalk".

Without a word, the grungy man scurries up off the sidewalk and takes off running down the street.

I'm so angry right now, I feel like I can't breathe. Even after I asked her to stop having her minions follow me, she carried on with business as usual. Once again, my thoughts and feelings didn't matter to her. Life is all about what she wants. I turn around to face Alison even though I can feel my lip begin to quiver uncontrollably and tears suddenly threaten to escape my eyes.

"Oh Emily" Alison frowns with tears in her eyes. "Come here" she adds as she pulls me in for a comforting hug.

The moment her arms envelop my emotionally and physically exhausted body and soul, I finally release all of my pent up emotion in the form of heavy sobs.

"It's okay, it's okay" she coos as she softly strokes the hair on my head. "Let it out. I'm right here".

I cried in Alison's arms throughout the entire cab ride back to my place. I only began to regain my composure once I was back in the comfort of my home.

Sniffling and wiping away the stray tears off of my cheeks, I quickly change into more comfortable clothes, turn down the lights, and crawl into my bed.

"So I guess I'll get going now" Alison announces as she leans against the doorway to my bedroom.

"No" I reply quickly. "Stay".

Alison's eyes widen in reaction to my abrupt demand.

"Please" I add in an attempt to secure that she'll stay and that I won't have to be alone for the rest of the night.

Alison rolls her eyes and smiles playfully, "Well since you asked so nicely. I'll go sleep on the couch".

"No" I reply again with the same intensity as before. "Please stay with me".

"Ugh so needy tonight" Alison teases as she takes off her shoes.

"There's shorts you can wear in the third drawer" I reply pointing to the dresser on the other side of the room.

Alison quickly changes and crawls into bed next to me. "Happier now" she questions after situating herself into a more comfortable position.

"Much" I reply with a small chuckle.

I bore holes in the ceiling after a few minutes of deep contemplation and reflection of tonight's events. For most of the night, I was having the most fun I've had in a long time. I wasn't sitting alone in my apartment and wallowing in my endless self-loathing pool of darkness like I always do. Life was breathed back into my existence again. All of that is thanks to Alison and her friendship. Then, right on cue, life's suffocating cloud extinguished the little joy and progress that I'd made in my fight to ward off the looming black hole that threatens to engulf me at any moment. Sometimes I wish we could go back to the days before everything happened... before each of us lost the vibrant light in our hearts and before each of us became the monsters that we are today.

"Penny for your thoughts" Alison asks curiously, drawing me back from my memories of happier times.

"Alison, I want to share something with you" I say as I mentally and emotionally prepare myself for what I'm about to tell her.

Emily's POV

Sensing that what I am about to share is something important, Alison sits up in bed and faces me as she gives me her undivided attention.

Maybe I should back out. No, I can't. I need to share this. I want to share this.

"So do you remember how I told you that I was in a really dark place back in college? Right before I hit that poor girl with my car" I ask as I continue to glare holes in the ceiling.

"Yes, of course. I've been curious as to why you were in such a bad place. But... I never pushed it... I figured that you would tell me eventually if you felt comfortable enough" Alison replies.

"Well... did you know that I have a brother" I ask plainly. "I'm sorry. Had a brother" I continue as I feel myself begin to tear up.

Alison senses this and instantly entangles her hand in mine.

"His name was Peter" I choke as a result of the large lump forming in my throat. "And God I just miss him so much... A part of me died the day that he died".

"Tell me more about him" Alison encourages as she begins to rub gentle tracks on my hand.

Smiling now, I reply, "He was a year older than me. But we were practically twins. He could piss me off to high heaven but I simply adored him. He could make me laugh like none other. As a child, I thought the world revolved around him. I wanted to do everything he did and be just as good at it. All throughout life, he would push me to do better and be better for myself and for those around me. At times, he'd act more like a father than a brother. Sometimes we would fight like cats and dogs, but at the end of the day, we'd always make up. It was just what brothers and sisters do ya know? And boy was he protective over me. One would think that my father would be the one to scare away the guys I'd date in high school. But no...no that was all my brother's doing. In his opinion, no one was ever good enough to be with me. He said that he used to be able to look into a person's eyes and be able to see their true nature. He'd be able to use his heart to guide his gut feeling about someone. I used to tell him that it made him sound like an 80 year old man. Peter didn't care though. He loved me and wanted nothing but the best for me."

"He sounds amazing. A truly loyal and devoted brother" Alison smiles looking down at me.

"He really was" I confirm. "And so much more. Growing up, there was so much love in our household. I know looking at it now it seems highly unlikely. But it's the truth. Peter was the glue that held us together. He was the light and joy in each of our lives. My parents were always busy with their careers and we both understood that. I think that's why we became so close too. When my parents were free, they'd make damn sure that we had quality time together. We'd go places and do things together in every free minute possible. Early on, I knew that if we wanted to continue the lavish lifestyle that we grew accustomed to, then our parents would have to work hard to support it".

"Work hard, play hard, love hard. Never forget that love, truth, and family are the only things that can make our time on this planet worth while... That's what my parents used to drill into our brains. But all of that... every last bit of it, was gone the day he died" I continue as I feel myself choking up again.

"Emily you don't have to continue if it's too painful" Alison assures as she continues to hold my hand.

"No I want to" I reply looking down at our intertwined fingers and noticing that her simple touch was giving me the strength to continue on. "It was the summer before I went to college. It was our final family trip before I joined my brother in college and my parents would become empty nesters. We decided to keep it simple and spend a week at the lighthouse in Connecticut. My father originally bought it as a retirement place for him and my mother. Somehow it turned into our private family getaway. The lighthouse was abandoned and no longer in use, but it still had an incredible view and a simple, gorgeous home on the property. We all used to fly kites, build sand castles, play volleyball, surf, relax, you name it. The sandy beach that was just a stones throw away from the renovated home was where our family found the deepest level of peace. One morning, Peter and I noticed that the waves were finally perfect. So we decided to go surfing out by the cape while my parents reclined on beach chairs by the shoreline. They cheered us on when we caught a wave and laughed when we wiped out. I vividly remember the moment the both of us spotted a mammoth wave coming right towards us. We were both so competitive that we jumped at the chance to claim the wave. I was faster than Peter and ultimately won out even though I had never attempted a wave of that magnitude and force. Truthfully, I was terrified but I wasn't going to let him know that. I had a handle on it at first. I'd never felt more alive than in that moment. The adrenaline rush was addicting and I felt like I was flying... Yet somewhere along the way, I lost control and majorly wiped out. The board flew out from underneath my feet, flew up into the air, and came crashing back done right on my head. It all happened so fast and I didn't have time to react or prepare myself. I guess my board knocked me out cold and I reemerged floating virtually lifeless. Peter was the closest to me and swam right over to try and save me from drowning. In the meantime, wave after wave crashed down upon us and Peter struggled to keep us afloat. Eventually my father made it out to us and Peter encouraged him to take me back to shore. He'd follow right behind. Once on the shoreline, my dad gently placed me on the sand as my mom called 911. When my dad turned around to see how Peter was doing... well... he wasn't there".

Sensing that the next part of my story was about to be incredibly painful to recall, Alison silently scoots closer to me.

"Emily, you're shaking" Alison states as she grips my hand a little tighter and uses her other hand to delicately brush loose strands of hair out of my face.

"I remember the moment that I woke up" I continue on while trembling as I struggle to maintain a small semblance of composure. "My vision was blurry at first and my head felt like it was going to pop off my neck. I was disoriented but one thing brought me out of my state of confusion... the noise that was coming from my mother's mouth... it.. it was completely heartbreaking to hear. I will never forget it. Her sobs and total anguish were what cued me into the fact that something terrible had happened. I could see that she was torn between staying with me and whatever she kept looking at out in the ocean. That's what prompted me to turn my attention towards the direction of her gaze. Only then did I see my dad frantically racing back into the water. I didn't see Peter anywhere and in the blink of an eye, everything hit me. My heart sank to the depth of my stomach and I felt all of the air vanish from my lungs. This invisible wave of impending doom flooded over me and I knew my dad was desperately looking for Peter out in the water. I tried to stand up and go help his search, but I was too weak and ultimately fell back onto the powdery sand. Lord only knows how long my dad searched for Peter. Could have been minutes... yet it felt like hours. In the end, he found Peter unconscious on the rocks at the tip of the cape. I can still see the panic in his eyes as he carried Peter's limp body in his arms all the way to the paramedics that met him on the green grass of our back yard. In a flash, they loaded Peter and my father into the back of the ambulance and raced off towards the hospital. A lone EMT stayed behind with my mother so he could assess me until the next ambulance arrived. Even though I felt like I would pass out again and the any second, I still remember the feeling that I felt in the pit of my soul as I watched my mother's eyes and racing thoughts. I could tell she was worried about me yet was quietly suffocating from the uncertainty of Peter's condition. Being torn between your two children in crisis... Desperately wanting to be in two places at once yet having to settle for the cards you've been dealt. I can't accurately describe to you the kind guilt I felt and still feel to this day".

I transition myself to a sitting position that matches Alison's because I suddenly feel like a panic attack is only a few heartbeats away. Grief, guilt, and self-inflicted blame become the predominant emotions that consume my body and every waking thought. Pounding my fist onto my sheets as anger and despair begin to ooze from within me, I rant, "If I hadn't have been so damn competitive and attempted something way out of my league... Peter would still be here. We wouldn't have had to take him off life support. We wouldn't have put him six feet under. Peter would be here with me. We all wouldn't have lost the joy in our lives. We all wouldn't have become the heartless monsters that we are today. Peter should be here... but he's not... and I still feel like I can't breathe".

Looking up at Alison through my tear filled, puffy eyes, I can see that she's crying as well. Sadness and sympathy engulf the waters of the blue eyes that are gazing back at me so attentively. Without a word, Alison pulls me close to her for a warm, long, comforting hug. I initially put up a small fight but inevitably melt beneath her soft and supportive embrace.  
"Oh Emily I'm so terribly sorry" Alison interjects after a few moments of silence as she allows me to release these long overdue tears of pure pain. Leaning backwards, Alison seamlessly transitions us to a comfortable cuddling position.

"I'm sorry I'm getting your shirt all wet with my tears" I manage to say in between the endless pattern of tears and hyperventilating breaths.

"Shhh... it's okay. Just let it all out Emily" Alison coos as she softly places my arm across her torso, pulls the covers over us, and begins to soothingly stroke my hair.

Between the exhaustion I felt from finally releasing all of the emotions that I'd held in for all of these years, Alison gently stroking my hair, and the rhythmic sound of her heartbeat, I quickly fell fast asleep on her chest. In that moment, restful slumber within the comfort of Alison's embrace calmed my noisy thoughts and a temporary period of peace graced my troubled soul during this evening of healing.


	3. Chapter 3

Emily's POV

My heart is beating out of my chest as I stand completely frozen in front of her apartment. An internal clock is ticking as I wait for her to open the door. This anxiety induces a thrill that's undeniably addicting and will only make this moment sweeter. The door suddenly flings open revealing a surprised Alison.

"Oh! Emily. Hi" Alison says with a warm smile. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting any company" she continues anxiously.

Now that the moment is here, I find myself completely stiff yet entirely in awe of the exquisite vision before me.

"Ummm Emily, is there something wrong" Alison asks with a furrowed brow and a questioning look on her face.

After a few more moments of gawking at her in silence, Alison continues nervously, "Emily, why are you looking at me like that?...L..Like you're about to kiss me or do something crazy."

Snapping out of my trance, I reply quickly, "Because I am" right before I lunge towards her, hungrily pulling her waist to meet mine, and passionately crashing our lips together...

Gasping as my eyes simultaneously burst open, I frantically attempt to establish my bearings and steady my uneven breathing. "That felt so real" I whisper to myself as I softly graze my lips. Why do I still feel a lingering spark of electricity? Why does my heart still thump to the same anxious yet elated beat? What is this unfamiliar sensation in the pit of my stomach? Why am I even thinking about such a thing? Much less fancying the thought of it.

Redirecting my focus, I'm instantly overwhelmed by the combination of my all too realistic dream that still haunts my waking moment and the sweet sight on the other side of my bed. Golden, curly locks continually rising and falling upon Alison's cheeks with every open mouthed breath she takes. As I quietly reach over and delicately relocate these strands from her face, I can't contain the smile that I quickly feel forming across my lips. How is it that I've gone from strongly disliking this girl to coming to rely on her to hold me back from the darkness that follows me and threatens to swallow me whole at any given moment? When I'm away from her, I find myself slipping back into the old me... cold... dark... closed off. But whenever I'm around her, I find myself tapping into the fun, gentle, loving side of me that's been suppressed by guilt, sorrow, and anger for far too many years. I feel one part of me being drawn back to evil and the other part of me being drawn to the light. Is it possible for me to find a clearer path? Or even a middle ground between this constant battle within myself?

While I'm enjoying simply relaxing and slowly waking up in my comfortable bed, the grumbling in my stomach beckons me to the kitchen. Carefully leaving my bedroom door slightly ajar, I tip toe to the kitchen and begin to prepare something that will provide satiety. Clicking on the stove top, I crack some eggs over the skillet, and turn to the sink to wash my hands all the while reflecting on my vivid dream.

"Whatcha making Chef Fields" a groggy Alison asks behind me.

"You'll have to wait and see sleepyhead" I chuckle as I return my attention to the frying eggs on the sizzling skillet.

"Well I'm going to have to ask for a rain check on breakfast" Alison replies nonchalantly. "The Chief is requesting my presence in his office".

I immediately feel a sense of disappointment as I continue to focus on the eggs. "Give me at least three minutes to finish up" I request hoping she'll comply.

"Okay, three minutes" she replies chuckling.

I quickly maneuver my way around the kitchen as I pull together what was going to be a relaxing breakfast in bed.

Wrapping up my final product in tin foil, I walk around the counter top and hand Alison her breakfast.

"What is this exactly" she asks taking a long, satisfying sniff of my creation.

"Basically just a fried egg sandwich with Vermont white cheddar, avocado slices, a sprinkle of tomato chunks, and freshly crackled black pepper on a toasted everything bagel" I reply matter of factly.

Raising her eyebrows as if she's impressed, Alison replies as she heads for the door, "You... you really are something".

Laughing in response, I reply, "Bye Alison. Enjoy" as I lean against the counter top with my arms folded across my waist.

Alison reaches for the handle, turns it, and barely opens the door before she stops and turns to face me. "Emily" she says suddenly to recapture my attention.

"Yes Alison" I ask wondering what she's going to say next.

"Thank you for breakfast. But in all seriousness, I want to talk more about what you shared with me last night. I was planning on doing that this morning but well... you know... But as I leave, I want you to know that I feel so honored that you opened up to me like that. That couldn't have been easy. I admire and appreciate your transparency with me. Can I also get a rain check on having that conversation" she asks curiously.

"You're welcome regarding breakfast. And of course. Just call me the next time you're free" I reply before encouraging her to leave before her dad gets upset.

Alison's POV

After knocking on the door to my father's office, I quietly enter the room the moment I realize he's on the phone. His eyes flicker up to meet mine and he smiles as he raises a finger to gesture that he'll be just another minute. As I relax into one of the leather chairs in front of his desk, I quickly notice the beaming smile painted across his face.

"Okay... You as well... Take care now ma'am" he says before hanging up the phone.

"Who induced such a smile" I ask curiously.

"Oh that's just Pam" he replies nonchalantly.

"PAM" I shout feeling completely in shock. "As in Pam Fields!? The Governor?! Your opponent?!"

"Lower your voice" he replies chuckling at me as he rubs the scruff from his unshaven jawline. "Yes. That's the Pam that I am referring to" he adds as he continues to study my face.

Out of the blue, a sudden, random flood of anger fills my chest in reaction to his answer. Since when has he been so chummy with Pam Fields? Why is he so friendly towards her? Granted I feel sorry for her that she lost her son, but that doesn't excuse the cold bitch that she's become. I mean God! Look what she's done to Emily! Look what she continues to do to Emily! The thought of it all becomes too much for me to contain so I spit back, "Why are you so chummy with that insufferable bitch of a woman"?

Instantaneously, my father bursts upward from his chair, mad as hell, and yells, "I did not raise you to speak in such a manner! You will not speak about that woman like that! Don't let me ever catch you bad mouthing her again. Now we may be opponents... but that doesn't mean that I can't have a civil, polite relationship with her. You have no idea why that woman behaves the way she does so don't speak like that ever again".

Flying out of my chair, equally as spitting mad, I yell back defensively, "Oh I know a little more than you think and you know what? It still doesn't excuse it! She's become a monster and subsequently fucked up everyone around her! God dad! She's going to take advantage of your good heart. Don't let her ruin your chances of fulfilling your dreams. She'd stab you in the back at the first chance she possible".

Looking down at his desk and sighing loudly, he pauses for a while before he replies calmly, "All of this is far more complex than what you think. I can see that we are not going to see eye to eye on this topic".

"No we are not" I reply huffing as I obstinately cross my arms over my torso.

"This week, I will need long hours from you, Hanna, Caleb, and the entire team. The first debate is 8 days away... we need to continue to lead in the polls and spread our message to our constituents. Can I count on my Half-pint" he asks opening his arms for a bear hug.

Rolling my eyes in frustration, I reluctantly walk around the desk and give him a hug. "Yes, you can count on me... but I'm still mad" I groan into his embrace.

"I know sweetie. I know" he replies soothingly while lovingly stroking the hair on my head.

For the past couple weeks, I've been working my tail off. Each day entails approximately 14 hours of tireless campaign work. By the end of the day, I'm thoroughly exhausted. Sleepily dragging myself up the stairs and into my apartment, I shuffle towards my bedroom the moment that I lock up for the night. I can't imagine staying awake much longer. My feet are killing me, my back aches, and all I can think about as I wash the day off of my skin is how excited I am to curl up in bed. As I tie my hair up in a messy bun on the top of my head, I quickly change into an off the shoulder, oversized tshirt, and yoga pants.

"Ohhh sweet relief" I say aloud as I crawl under the covers and release a large, cleansing sigh while closing my eyes for the night. Just as I'm about to drift off to sleep, vibration from my phone on the nightstand startles me awake.

"Oh crap I totally forgot" I say aloud to myself the moment I see Emily's face light up my screen.

Accepting her face time request, I quickly settle back down in bed.

"Did someone forget our nightly chat" Emily asks giggling to herself the moment the live feed establishes.

The moment my mind fully registers her face on my screen... well... something happened in my chest. I can't precisely identify what it is... It's almost like a sense of peace or relief...maybe even a little joy and excitement. I know that we've been talking like this every night for the past few weeks. We've both been so busy with our respective campaigns and haven't had the time or energy to hang out face to face. But tonight, something definitely feels different inside me as I gaze upon her warm, happy, sleepy eyes.

"Uhhh Alison. Are you okay" Emily asks while waving her hand in front of her phone in an attempt to capture my attention.

"Oh! Um... sorry Emily. No, I'm fine" I lie convincingly. "I wouldn't intentionally miss our nightly chat sessions" I add with a slight smile.

Pleased with my response, Emily smiles brightly and replies, "Glad to hear".

"There's that smile that I love to see" I reply reciprocating her smile.

"So I won't keep you long... I can tell you're exhausted and quite frankly I am exhausted too" Emily says while stifling a yawn and sleepily rubbing her eyes. "I just wanted to say that I am excited that the debate is tomorrow. I...well..." Emily continues while struggling to finish her sentence.

"I miss hanging out with you too" I reply. I knew what she wanted to say to me. I've come to know her well enough to know that she's not always the best at expressing her thoughts and emotions with me. With Emily, revelations about her past or what she's feeling or thinking in the moment will only reveal themselves if she chooses. One can never anticipate when she will let down the drawbridge and let you in behind the towering wall that she's built around her heart.

Emily smiles shyly back at me in reaction to my words. Sometimes silence between us feels completely natural seeing as we tend to be able to simply look at one another and talk without uttering a single word. If I'm being completely honest, I don't think that I've ever established this level of connection and friendship with anyone this quickly. If I'm being even more honest, I must admit that it scares me. Yet the positives have made it all worthwhile so I don't plan on stopping or playing it safe.

"So... I will see you tomorrow Emily. Sleep well. Night, night" I say waving to her.

Waving back at me, Emily replies, "Likewise. Night Alison".

Even though I ended the video chat, the feeling that I felt the moment it began still lingers within me. But what exactly is that feeling?

Emily's POV

"Okay Emily. Today's the day we see if your mother can change the tides of this campaign and increase our momentum" my father says to me as he wraps me up in a warm embrace. Ever since Peter's death, I've maintained a decent relationship with my father. My relationship with my mother on the other hand is best described as well... frigid. So in moments like these where I'm happily supported in his comforting arms, I transform back into a happy go lucky teenager.

"I know daddy. I hope she does" I reply honestly.

Softly kissing my forehead, he replies, "It's time for a pep talk for your mother".

After bidding me farewell, my dad proudly struts his way towards his wife's dressing room.

I stand backstage all by myself as dozens of men and women buzz about like busy little worker bees. Deep inside me, all I can think about is getting this night over with. Furthermore, I sincerely hope my mother does well because that will mean that she'll call off her dogs and let me breathe a little. But I know tonight won't be easy. Chief Dilaurentis is no pushover and appears to be a genuinely good man. The public can see that. Frankly I see it and wouldn't hesitate to vote for him if the circumstances were different.

"Hey baby" a gruff voice says in my ear, causing me to snap out of my train of thought and jump in fright.

Large hands turn me around at the waist and the voice continues, "Hey there scaredy cat. It's just me".

"I know. I was just deep in thought" I reply as I give Jacob a quick peck on the lips.

"Oh no. Nice try there. I'm not letting you get away with just a peck. I want a real kiss" Jacob replies smirking down at me.

"You are so needy" I tease before leaning in and kissing him again.

"Excuse me" a familiar, soft voice interrupts after a few seconds into our lip lock.

Tearing away from Jacob, I turn my attention to the source of the interruption only to see Alison standing across the room with Hanna and Caleb right behind her.

"Hate to disturb y'all" she continues plainly, "But we were wondering if you'd prefer viewing room A or B? They are directly across the hall from one another and are identically supplied and furnished".

"Then why are you even asking us? Pick whatever you want" Jacob spits back angrily.

"Hey" I interject forcefully while slapping his arm roughly, "No need to be rude. They were just being polite".

"But" Jacob replies before I cut him off by raising my hand to silence him. "I don't want to hear it" I reply with a heavy level of frustration in my voice.

Turning to Alison now, I continue, "We will take room A. Thank you".

"Alrighty. Come on guys, let's get set up" Alison says while gesturing Hanna and Caleb to follow her. Passing right in front of us, Alison flashes me a virtually undetectable smirk as if to say thank you. In return, I nod my head slightly to show her that I caught her coded message for me.

Alison's POV

"Well that was completely shocking" Hanna announces the moment she closes the door behind us in viewing room B.

"I agree 100%" Caleb replies to Hanna's statement.

"What do you mean" I ask honestly.

"She stood up for you... to her boyfriend nonetheless" Hanna says almost speechless.

"I told you she's not a total monster " I reply chuckling as I plop myself down on the couch in front of the TV.

"Whatever you say" Hanna replies rolling her eyes at me.

A few minutes later, the debate begins with opening statements from each candidate.

"Okay, okay. Good start Mr. D." Hanna cheers after my dad finishes his opening statement.

"Caleb, what are you so ferociously typing away about over there" I ask curiously.

Never peeling his eyes away from the computer, Caleb replies, "Putting the finishing touches on the program I created to monitor the chatter on various social media sites during the debates".

"Ohhh fancy" Hanna teases while popping a few Skittles in her mouth.

Chuckling to himself, Caleb continues, "It breaks down the positive and negative comments and postings for Mr. D. and Governor Fields. Then it breaks down the data for age, socioeconomic status, and other facets of the viewer demographic. This will help us see which areas we are falling behind in and where we need to continue the positive work".

"Okay. Wow. Hanna is right. That's quite fancy. That being said, thank you. And keep us updated throughout the debate" I reply as I settle in a more comfortable position on the couch.

As time went on, we all could see that the debate was a virtual tie. Both candidates were performing exceptionally well, especially for the first debate. While entertaining to watch, I began to feel even more nervous that my father could lose this debate in the final minutes. Because let's face it, Pam is right. My father has no idea what politics is really like and what it fully entails. He likes to believe that there is good in everyone and that kindness is always the best course of action. With a heart like his, he could easily be eaten alive by a shark like Pamela Fields.

"Caleb, what's the score" Hanna asks after the round of questions finishes.

"Glaring closer at his computer, Caleb replies, "Uh, points to Fields for taxes, police tactics, foreign policy, and gun control. Points to Mr. D. for education, healthcare, jobs, and trade policy. Truthfully, it's a complete tie and there's time for one more question".

"Shh.. let's hear it" Hanna says anxiously as she quiets the room.

"So, Governor Fields and Chief Dilaurentis, for our final question of the night, we're going to take a more personal tone" the moderator says after looking up from his cue card. "I think we've had enough stimulating conversation on important, relevant topics. That being said, I will ask Governor Fields first...What do you think about the debate that was held between your daughter and the Chief's daughter?".

"Oh Jesus here we go" I groan while rolling my eyes. "I have to pee. I'll be back" I lie as I head for the door. Closing the door behind me, I silently rest myself against it and close my eyes to block out the world around me.

"Huh. I see you too couldn't stand to listen to the answers to that last question" a voice says suddenly.

Opening my eyes, I see that Emily is standing in front of me, just waiting for a response.

"I just really needed to breathe" I reply while letting out a loud sigh.

"Me too" Emily agrees. "Want to walk a bit" she questions while gesturing us down the long corridor.

After a few moments of walking side by side in silence, I break the comfortable quietness and state, "You know they are in a virtual tie right now".

"I know" Emily groans. "I was hoping there would be a more definitive winner".

"I know. I just keep saying to myself that I couldn't have done anything else to help him. I gave him everything he needed to prepare and I did everything he asked me to do" I reply while leaning up against the wall.

"Same here. It's out of our hands now" Emily replies while mimicking my stance.

A sudden, long period of silence fills the space between us. Normally, I'd feel uncomfortable by such silence, but right now, I feel a strange stillness within me. A random question pops into my head and I ponder whether or not I should ask her. I've always wanted to know the answer... I've just never asked her.

Emily's POV

"Who are you when no one's watching" Alison asks randomly.

"Ha! Now is not the time for that kind of question. Plus it would take too long to answer" I reply honestly as I glance down at my feet.

"You're probably right" Alison states as she begins to nervously twirl her hair around her finger.

"Hey, Emily. There you are. We were wondering where you went off to" Spencer suddenly says from the viewing room down the hall.

"I guess we better get back" Alison says in response to Spencer's prompt.

"I'm so happy this round is almost over" I whisper as we begin to walk back to our respective viewing rooms.

"You and me both" Alison chuckles. "Then we can go back to hanging out. I don't know about you, but I could use a drink".

"You have no idea how good that sounds right now" I answer before opening the door and heading back in the room.

For the rest of the night, even after talking with reporters, supporters, staff, family, and friends, I simply couldn't rid my waking thoughts from her. I thought about the way she elegantly walked next to me as we sought comfort in each other's presence. I thought about the unfamiliar feelings she continually induces within me every time I see her. Most of all, I thought about how badly I wanted to see her again. How badly I needed to see her again in order to keep myself sane in this crazy, messed up world I live in.

Less than an hour after I arrived back at my apartment, I decided that I couldn't take it any longer.

I need to see Alison.

As I ascend the steps to Alison's apartment and anxiously walk down the long corridor to her front door, I can't help feeling like this is deja vu. Knocking lightly on the front door causes my anxiety level to reach epic proportions. Moments later, Alison answers the door, shocked, and seemingly unprepared for a visit.

"Oh, hi Emily" she says cheerfully at the sight of me standing in her doorway. Little does she know, I'm a shaking, nervous wreck inside.

"Ask me again" I blurt out suddenly.

"What" Alison asks appearing very confused.

"The question you asked me at the debate" I remind her.

"Oh...Who are you when no one's watching" Alison questions the moment she realizes what I am referring to.

Pausing for a moment, I question further, "Before or after I met you?

Alison's face lights up with surprise in reaction to my question. "I. Um. Well... Either I suppose" she manages to fumble as she visibly becomes nervous.

Sighing loudly, I reply truthfully, "Well simply... Before you?... Dying... After you?... Living".

As we stand in the doorway starring at one another in silence, I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. For the first time in awhile, when I gaze into her enchanting eyes, I can't get a good read on Alison. One thing is for sure though, I can't take this anymore. This is all so new and foreign to me...But I don't care. I, Emily Fields, am about to take a giant leap of faith...A jump into oblivion... Risking it all with the chance that I may fall flat on my face.

"Why do you have that look in your eyes like you're about to do something crazy" Alison asks with a slight smirk.

Taking a few, silent steps toward Alison, never breaking our eye contact, I stop suddenly and reply, "Because I am".

Alison remains silent as she looks at me quizzically.

Slowly reaching upward, I gently tuck her golden locks behind her ear...causing Alison to slightly retreat away from my touch.

"What are y" Alison begins to question, before I interrupt with a smile, "Shhh. No talking".

Gliding my hand across her soft, blushing cheeks, I gently cup my fingers along the beautiful features of her face.

After pulling her closer to me, I hear Alison's breath hitch in anticipation of what is to come. I close my eyes before our lips meet and I kiss her ever so sweetly as I guide her body even closer to mine. Alison initially tenses in reaction to my unexpected expression yet begins to melt beneath my embrace the more I kiss her velvety soft lips. Within a matter of seconds, her lips begin to happily dance with mine and cause my heart to soar with a kind of joy that I've never felt before. Finally giving into this urge that I've suppressed for so long suddenly makes me feel like the world is spinning around us in some sort of whimsical dream. Every passing kiss and every gentle caress makes me crave more and more of her. Getting drunk off her lips is an intoxication I don't ever want to sober up from.

Suddenly tearing her lips away from mine and breaking our embrace, Alison takes a step away from me. Breathing heavily and holding her hand over her chest, she silently attempts to steady her breathing.

"I'm sor" I begin to say while touching my lips... still feeling the lingering spark of passion.

"No. Don't be" she interjects in between breaths.

"What's wrong then" I ask feeling nervous again.

Pausing for awhile, she stares down at the floor. "My chest" she pants in response.

"Wh... what do you mean your chest" I ask feeling concerned by her answer.

That's when Alison focuses her dazzling blue eyes upon my truth seeking eyes. "You... you're making my chest ache. I'm just so overwhelmed right now" she answers honestly.

"Oh" I reply as I nervously fumble with my fingers. "Maybe I should go then" I continue as I begin to leave.

A forceful grasp around my wrist captures my attention and prompts me to look back at her.

"Don't you dare" Alison orders with laser focused eyes.

Surprised by her sudden change in tone, I gaze back at her... unsure of what to do next.

"I don't want you to leave" she continues as she pulls me back inside and slams the door shut behind me.

"I don't want to stop kissing you either" she says boldly before pushing me against the door and hungrily crashing our lips together once more.

Emily's POV

Alison pushing me against the door like this is an absolute shock. I'm not complaining though. Her sudden show of dominance only solidifies that she's having these feelings too. Alison's initial hungry kisses quickly turn into those of intense passion as she slinks one hand around the back of my neck and the other hand behind my lower back in order to deepen our contact. My once tense body begins to soften in response to the magical spell she casts upon my lips and my entire body with every slow, purposeful kiss.

Suddenly ripping herself away from me again, Alison angrily mumbles, "Damnit" as she frustratingly walks away with her hands on top of her head.

The unexpected abandonment of her lips and warm hold upon me leaves me dazed, confused, and admittedly a little dizzy.

"What is happening" I ask feeling completely confused as I remain standing by the door.

Quickly turning around to face me, Alison blurts out in a raised tone of voice, "This is wrong!".  
Throwing herself down on the couch, she continues while covering her face with her hands,"Damnit I've done it again!".

Seeing her like this ignites something within me that simply makes me want to take away her emotional distress. Sitting down next to her, I slowly reach for her hands that are covering her beautiful face and softly coo, "Hey, look at me..Let me see those beautiful eyes".

Alison allows me to move her hands away from her face and down towards her lap where I happily intertwine our fingers and give a little squeeze of encouragement.

"There. That's better. Now talk to me" I encourage as I gaze into her teary eyes.

"You're in a relationship Emily" Alison replies solemnly. "And it's wrong of me to kiss you like that" she continues while looking down at her lap. "...To have these kinds of feelings for you the way that I do" she adds in a virtual whisper.

"Hey I kissed you first" I reply trying to make her feel better. "I crossed that line between us. I started this" I add.

"That may be the case, but I promised myself that I'd never go down this road again... a road that's off limits to me" she replies still looking down at her lap. "There are so many road blocks in my way... I can't get to you... I'm so confused... This is all so new to me... like uncharted territory" she adds as I see agony and uncertainty begin to fill her eyes.

"Please look at me," I plead as I glide my hand across her tear stained cheek, "I don't understand any of this either. I don't know exactly why or how this came about. All I know is that it's happening and I can't deny it any longer. You and I have something between us. It's this spark... a connection that I wasn't expecting. Look how far we've come since we first met. I never thought in a million years that I would ever feel this way about you. That night on the rooftop changed everything for me. I needed you to be my friend. And now that friendship has transformed into something else. I don't think you understand how huge this is for me. I never talk like this. I never open up like this. But you... You've done this to me".

"But you're in a relationship. You're committed to someone else and you're happy with him" Alison replies. "And it's wrong to cheat... but it's like this force inside me is pulling me towards you regardless of the fact that you're off limits. Even though I don't know what to do with all of these new emotions, I still can't seem to stop myself from wanting you".

"When I kissed you like that, what was going on in your mind" I ask curiously.

Pausing for awhile while deep in thought, Alison finally replies, "I was surprised at first... But kissing you felt right".

"You know when you blush like that, it's incredibly adorable" I reply without thinking.

"Stop it" Alison giggles after playfully smacking my hand. "What was going on in your mind when I kissed you like that" Alison asks now turning the tables on me.

"I was taken back at first. But pinning me against the door like that was really hot. The way you kissed me felt natural. I didn't want to stop being so close to you" I reply as I feel my cheeks begin to warm up.

"Now look who's blushing" Alison teases me.

"Oh shut up" I laugh in response.

"In all seriousness, can we please just let things happen naturally between us? I know things are complicated and I don't know what each day will bring us. But I do know that I don't want to lose you" I state honestly.

"I...don't know" she replies hesitantly.

"Ali please. For the rest of tonight, can we just stay here? Live in a bubble of sorts... just you and me. We can talk, relax, do whatever. I just want to be around you" I plead.

Alison's eyes light up and a pleasant smile forms as she continues to look at me in silence. Then, without warning, she leans in and places a slow, soft kiss on my lips. Pulling away slightly, she whispers, "Say it again".

"Wha.. Say what again" I ask.

"The first thing you said to me" she whispers while smiling .

For a moment, I'm confused by what she's requesting. Then I realize what I've said for the first time.

Reciprocating her beaming smile, I whisper in a low, husky voice as I begin to lean forward, "Ali...please".

In between kisses as I gently guide Alison to lay down on the couch, I continue to plead, "Let me stay... so... we..can keep... doing this".

Giggling and trying to suppress a slight moan, Alison replies, "You're a bad girl Em".

"Ohhhh! Em.. I like the way that sounds coming from your lips" I reply flirtatiously while kissing her deeply.

Pulling away, I continue, "Oh.. and by the way... I blame you. You do this to me".

"Who? Me?" Alison jokes while feigning surprise and acting offended.

"Yea you. Don't play coy" I reply laughing.

"Oh just shut up and kiss me" Alison demands before she pulls me in and eagerly kisses me.

It's happening again... that out of body feeling. It's flooding my senses and I find myself getting lost in her kisses. It's just the two of us getting lost in the moment and feeding a desire that we can't hide from anymore. No more denying. No more overthinking. Just living in the here and now.

"Em" Alison says suddenly after halting our makeout session. "While I am really enjoying this, I must admit... I'm so hungry" she says after placing her hand over her stomach. "I haven't had anything to eat all day. Before you showed up at my door, I was planning on ordering in. Do you want anything from Lin's Noodles" Alison asks while absentmindedly tucking my hair behind my ears and playing with the long strands of my hair.

"Oh yes please" I reply excitedly as I quickly remove myself from on top of Alison.

"They're just down the street so it'll be here in no time" she says while waiting for the restaurant to answer the phone.

"I'll get the wine if you pop on anything Food Channelish " Alison adds while heading to the kitchen to pour the glasses of wine.

"Any wine that you have in mind" Alison asks from the kitchen.

"Surprise me" I answer while flipping through the channels. "Reruns of Chopped work for you" I holler to Alison in the kitchen.

"Perfect" she replies happily as she hands me a hefty glass of wine.

"I say we toast to this" I propose out of the blue. "To taking things one day at a time and to continuing to be open and honest with one another" I say while raising my glass to Alison.

"Cheers to that" Alison replies while lightly clinking our glasses together.

Alison's POV

The glare of a bright ray of sunlight creeping through my bedroom window gently arouses me from the most restful sleep I've had in months. An instantaneous sense of warmth predominates my consciousness when I realize I'm wrapped up in a pair of soft, comforting arms. Inhaling deeply, a slight scent of coconut and shea butter dances in my nostrils, delighting my mind, and resulting in a pleasant smile on my face. While this scent is relatively new to me, I've come to find great joy in it in such a short amount of time.

This scent is Emily. This silky skin belongs to Emily. One simply can't forget it once you've had the pleasure of feeling her touch bless your skin or have been fortunate enough to be close enough to practically hear one another's heartbeat.

Waking up like this is well... how any and every day should start. Having a few moments to myself to simply bask in her beautiful, sleepy stillness is a true gift for my eyes to behold. It's really quite a pity that once those enriching brown eyes slowly flutter open, the tight seal that we've formed around our personal, little bubble will threaten to burst completely. Every passing second that follows will decrease it's fortitude for we will undoubtedly be forced to return to reality. With reality comes complications. With complications comes halting the budding flower that is this newfound, confusing dynamic with Emily.

Maybe it's some form of punishment from God, the cosmic universe, or whatever higher power that's in charge of continually creating massive pits for me to climb my way out of as I progress through life. Maybe it's a taste of my own medicine for what I did to Nathan. Nathan wanted me but he could never really have me. I want Emily and I can't really have her. So am I supposed to continue to let myself grow and develop these feelings for Emily in order to feel the maximum amount of pain and suffering that I actually deserve? Is that how this is all supposed to play out? Feeling like I can have something real for once in my life but ultimately having it all ripped away from me?

"Good morning Ali" Emily says in her groggy morning voice.

"Morning Em" I reply while looking up at her and lovingly stroking the side of her perfectly sculpted face.

Leaning into my touch, Emily closes her eyes, smiles, and quietly releases a happy sigh.

"You know a girl could get used to this" she states after a few moments of silence. "Having the bluest ocean looking back at me the moment my eyes open in the morning feels like an undeserved gift" she continues with a touch a solemnity.

"Someone's rather poetic this morning" I joke as I fling the covers off of me and begin to get out of bed.

"Nope... Not yet" Emily replies while grabbing hold of my arm and pulling me back into her arms.

"And a little bossy" I add with my classic Alison Dilaurentis smirk.

"I want something and I haven't had it yet this morning" Emily replies trying her best to sound serious.

"Ummmm" I playfully pretend to brainstorm, "Pancakes?".

"Nope" she replies.

"Coffee" I ask really knowing what she wants but secretly wanting to make her work for it.

"You know what I want" Emily replies before she transitions me onto my back and climbs on top of me.

"I.." she begins to say while flipping all of her hair to one side and slowing leaning down towards my face, "want to taste those lips... and Emily Fields always gets what she wants".

"Well when you put it like that" I reply flirtatiously smiling at her before closing the final inches between us and joining our lips together in a perfect dance.

After a long, elegant waltz of sorts, Emily slowly pulls away with her eyes still closed, just savoring the lingering sensation on her lips.

Reuniting brown with blue, Emily asks gazing down at me, "But can I also get those pancakes and some coffee?".

"Oh my God" I reply rolling my eyes and smacking her shoulder. "You really are something else".

Suddenly and unexpectedly, someone begins to bang their fist against the door to my apartment, initially frightening Emily and me.

"Alison wake up sleepyhead. It's me, Hanna. I called you like 12 times and you didn't pick up. So... here I am... open up" Hanna yells from the other side of the door.

"Oh my God" I say while frantically climbing out of bed.

Emily instinctively begins to gather all of her belongings from the armchair by my book self and quickly throws on her Keds.

"What do we do" she asks worriedly.

"I don't know! You can't fit under the bed. She might go in my closet or bathroom... I can't exactly explain my way out of why you're here" I reply while racking my brain for a solution.

That's when it hits me. "You're going to have to go out the window" I reply as calmly as possible.

"Are you insane" Emily replies looking at me like I've lost my mind. "We're four stories up" she continues to exclaim.

"Oh don't be a baby. There's a fire escape right outside the window" I reply while opening the curtains and throwing the window wide open. "You won't have time to climb all the way down. She'll hear you. So you'll have to quickly climb up one floor and wait for me to text to that it's safe to climb down" I add while gesturing her to climb out the window.

"Oh my God! I feel like I'm your fucking dirty mistress or something " she says angrily as she turns around to face me once she's out the window.

"Hey! Ali! Open the damn door" Hanna yells even louder as she returns to banging on the door.

"Can you think of a better idea" I ask bluntly.

"Not at the moment" Emily mumbles.

"Okay then. Now come here, kiss me, and hurry up the stairs" I order.

"You're lucky you're so pretty" she replies before giving me a quick kiss and heading up the stairs.

"Okay, now calm down Ali" I whisper to myself. "Act sleepy" I add before opening the door and dramatically rubbing my eyes.

"What the hell Hanna" I say before theatrically yawning. "I was asleep for God sakes" I add with a heavy amount of frustration in my voice.

"Well if you would have answered my 10,000 calls then I wouldn't be here right now" she replies while welcoming herself into my apartment and throwing her purse on my couch.

"Jesus I'm sorry for wanting to decompress and get away last night" I reply sarcastically after shutting the door.

"Do those takeout boxes and two wine glasses have something to do with your decompression" she replies while throwing up sarcastic air quotes in front of my face.

Shit! I forgot about our late night dinner that we left on the coffee table last night! How in God's name am I going to explain this?

"That" I ask pointing to the coffee table.

"I ordered in last night and had some wine. Mrs. Richardson came over to ask if I knew of a good handyman and we got to talking. I offered her some wine while she talked about her family. I think she was just lonely" I say nonchalantly as I begin to clean up the mess Emily and I left.

I can see Hanna eyeing me out of the corner of my eyes as if she's trying to gauge if my answer is truthful. After a couple moments of silence, I boldly say, "You don't believe me. Well then let's go ask her".

Hanna narrows her focus on me as she continues to study my face. "Fine" she replies, "Let's go see Mrs. Richardson".

Oh Jesus she called me on my cover story. Here's to hoping Mrs. Richardson will play along with my story.

Stepping outside of my apartment, I point down the hall and direct, "3 doors down on the left".

Quickly strutting down the hall with a sense of purpose, Hanna arrives at Mrs. Richardson's door and knocks loudly.

"Stop Hanna! She's a tiny, old woman for God sakes. You're going to scare her" I bark at her angrily.

Moments later, Mrs. Richardson gingerly opens the door and looks up at Hanna with a confused look on her face.

"Hello, may I ask who you are" she asks not seeing me standing off to the side of Hanna.

"Hello Mrs. Richardson, this is my friend Hanna" I interject as I step more into her line of sight.

"Oh hello sweetheart! I'm sorry! I didn't see you there" she apologizes while reaching out to hold my hands.

"That's okay" I chuckle slightly. "You see, we came to see you in order to clear the air about something. Hanna over here" I continue gesturing in Hanna's direction, "Tends to get these crazy ideas in her head and well, I'm hoping you can help verify that I'm telling her the truth".

"Oh okay" she replies sweetly.

Knowing that Hanna was behind me and would be unable to see, I silently mouth, "Help me" before I explain, "Last night, you came over and asked me if I knew of a good handyman. Then we got to talking, had some wine, and then you left to go to bed".

Without hesitation, Mrs. Richardson replies while directing her focus on Hanna, "Oh yes! You see the sink in my bathroom keeps making these God awful noises and I have this list that's a mile long of little touch ups that need to be done with the place. Alison is always so sweet and friendly when I see her in the hallway so I thought I'd ask her. And as you know, she's so easy to talk to and so I eventually got my big mouth blabbing. Then she offered me some wine and oh honey I was more than happy to accept her offer. Me and wine are lifelong friends. But look, here I got again blabbing my big mouth. Do you have anymore questions darling?".

Hanna smiles and replies, "No I think that does it. Sorry to bother you" before linking her arm in mine and leading us back to my apartment.

After a few steps down the hall, Mrs. Richardson announces, "Oh and Alison, I'll be by later tonight after I'm done using your baking pan".

Realizing that she really means that she'd like an explanation later, I play along and reply, "Oh of course. I'll be here".

Boy do I owe that woman big time.

Emily's POV

I spent 20 damn minutes on that fire escape before Alison texted me that it was safe to climb down to the street. While I should be perturbed that I had to climb out of the window like some dirty mistress, I completely understand it. I'm in no means able to understand this thing between us much less have be ready to explain it to anyone else. That being said, I am still ticked that I couldn't spend the morning with Alison.

Showing up at her door and giving in to my desires allowed me to open up a closed off part of myself. Finally acknowledging my feelings for her brought about a certain level of peace and a sense of relief. When Alison kissed me back and shared that she'd been feeling the same way, I thought I'd never be able to come down from such a high. On the flipside of that, I am still in a relationship with Jacob. We've been together for a long time now. He's familiar, predictable, and steady. The benefits of being in a relationship with him extend further than simply romantic benefits. Can I really throw all of that aside because I have developed these feelings for Alison that I still don't fully comprehend? Then there's the Fields name that I have to uphold. I know that this kind of romantic relationship wouldn't fly with my parents. Our good name in the world of the elite does not allow for a gay, bi, questioning, or just generally confused daughter. The path that I've been on with my parents, Jacob, and my political fixer work is the only acceptable way to live my life.

Even after all of that, I still can't help but instantly smile when I hear her name. I can't control the flutter in my chest when she kisses me. I can't stop the way that I feel about her.

I never would have thought that Alison would be such a positive, driving force in my life. Day by day, she's helped patch up my wounds and has pulled me back from the point of no return. My once dark and colorless life is now more vibrant and hopeful.

I must ask myself though, is it fair to bring her into the world that I live in? I've been broken for so long, how do I know that I won't hurt her? One thing is for sure though. I need someone to talk to about all of these perplexing thoughts and emotions. But... There's no one. I have no one that I can truly open up to. Maybe I should start seeing a therapist. In the meantime though, I'm not going to end things with Alison. I just can't. She makes me too happy.

"Hi guys" I greet as I walk into the conference room of the Field's campaign headquarters. Spencer, Aria, Tim, and a few other campaign staffers look up at me with complete shock on their faces.

"Uh... um... hi Emily" Spencer fumbles while giving Aria a side glance.

"You're well... happy" Aria adds while folding a pile of flyers.

"Yea, I guess I am" I reply smiling to myself as the memories of last night with Alison comes to mind.

"There's this twinkle in your eyes. I haven't seen this look before. What happened" Spencer asks while sitting in the chair next to me.

"Oh did Jacob do something especially romantic? Oh you know how much I love love" Aria says excitedly as she plops herself in another free chair.

"I don't kiss and tell" I reply coyly as I start to read through recent voter statistics.

"Oh cut the crap Em. It's just us" Spencer demands as she takes the papers out of my hand.

"All you're getting from me is that I'm happy" I reply firmly. "So let's just focus on the job at hand. Let's analyze the results from the debate last night" I add in order to redirect their focus.

"I couldn't agree more" my mother says suddenly from behind us as she enters the room and takes the seat at the head of the table.

"But Governor Fields, look at Em" Aria replies gesturing in my direction.

Peering over the rim of her glasses, my mother looks up at me and intently studies my face in silence. "Hm" she utters to herself and returns her attention to the official report of last night's debate.

"Okay ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we've made some real progress and closed the gap in the polls" she announces proudly. "Let's keep this up. Where can we continue to improve" she questions to the rest of the room.


End file.
